Very interesting! I was at a conference in April where Brene Brown spoke. I’d always heard she was the “It” for shame. In her talk she said she could care less about shame. It’s the character she played at one time and she’s moved on but she’s still known for it and not what she’s interested in today.
Steve Jobs was known for changing his mind on a dime. A lot of people found that incredibly annoying but he believed that flexibility in thinking was a virtue not a fault.
I think the same goes for adopting a flexible but balanced self-image.
The best part about inconsistency (or Adam Grant’s words—I am languishing.) is I am forever changing and people don’t know what to expect from me. Every pro has a con, every con has a pro.
I feel that there is no absolute truth in this world. I can’t help but think different because that how I am built.
If one thing is constant about me is:
1. I am naturally attracted by bold, ambitious visionaries with a heart.
2. I am naturally curious and always seeing the world in another perspective. That’s the benefits of mostly NOT working in an organisation where groupthink prevailed.
This is great! I went from being a pilates studio owner to a therapist. When I decided to change people either encouraged me or continually held on to that old version of me. I a client say to me-when you don't make it as a therapist, I will take pilates lessons from you twice a week. As a therapist I'm constantly being told I need to niche but I never wanted to pigeon hold myself into one thing and it has worked for me, keeping my work diverse and more interesting.
Keeping you constantly engaged in your work - tremendous personal payoff in the single player game we're playing, that things like "unsubscribe" are waking us up to....
In high school, I decided I didn’t want to be goody two-shoes anymore, so I became a rebel: I became a drinker, a smoker, and a class disruptor, and I kept it up all the way to getting kicked out of an exclusive New England prep school in the 11th grade.
I still got all A’s and got into Harvard early, but kids no longer teased me or called me “square.” I had forever changed my “brand.”
***
I’m not sure if the above is directly responsive to your excellent essay, but it’s Monday morning, and that’s the thought you inspired.
Justin, this hits hard. Folks forget that the character they choose at the start can end up becoming a cage. I’ve learned the same thing building my own brand—authenticity gives you room to evolve, but false roles box you in. Appreciate how you framed it.
People have very less memory to store information about everybody. The way our mind has evolved and adapted is that we associate people, place, things in our lives with something and then move on with it. That's why jingles were so popular in advertisements(and they still are to be honest). Once you like a jingle , you sing it in bathroom, cafeteria everywhere and then that brand get's associated with a small space in your mind. So whenever you go to the supermarket to buy something...guess what will you buy? The brand whose jingle is stuck in your head.....Sadly this is the same with people too.
Great share. It takes so much energy to prop up our false characters that we must enroll others to reinforce it with us. How many times do we try to exit the echo chambers we created for ourselves, only to get sucked back again? How many times have we supported the false masks of those around us, even when we see the truth of who they are? Thank goodness we all fail at becoming the person we were supposed to be in order to realize and embody the truth of who we are.
Love this ... I feel most people go through life in character roles vs being the true author of their story. Why ... safety? If feels safe. Your post reminded me of a quote I came, by the mystic Gurdjieff: "The first act of freedom is to become aware of your prison." Or maybe it should say .. the first act of authorship is to become aware of the "safety" characters you are living. It is a great reminder that you dont have to blow your story up to be authentic, you just need to pause long enough to recognize who's authoring your story (character living is always authored by someone other than you) ... and reclaim your voice. Because sometimes…the most powerful way forward…is to pause. And recognize the door to the cage/prison you are living is open.
Indeed, one must be careful about one's identity ("ego"), often there are multiple ones. If one digs deeper one realizes those to be arbitrary fictions, often switched out to hide fear, or to gain validation or status.
Or, become reckless in our ability to shatter the old perceptions of how others view us - half the fun is deciding what others expect from us, and disappointing them - its a bit of a poker game
Very interesting! I was at a conference in April where Brene Brown spoke. I’d always heard she was the “It” for shame. In her talk she said she could care less about shame. It’s the character she played at one time and she’s moved on but she’s still known for it and not what she’s interested in today.
Oh, that’s super interesting. Thanks for sharing, Penny!
Absolutely love this @Justin Welsh.
Steve Jobs was known for changing his mind on a dime. A lot of people found that incredibly annoying but he believed that flexibility in thinking was a virtue not a fault.
I think the same goes for adopting a flexible but balanced self-image.
Great comment today, Ash. Thanks, brother.
You’re most welcome :-) Hope you’re well buddy.
I really needed this today, thank you 🙏🏾 We don’t need to be prisoners of our past or the role people have shoved us into.
Glad it resonated, Casey!
Love this, man.
The discomfort isn’t a signal to slow down…
it’s the edge of what you’re going to create next.
Thank you Kevin. Much appreciated, man!
This….”When you make authenticity your brand instead of some specific trait or interest, evolution becomes a helluva lot easier.”
Glad it hit :)
The best part about inconsistency (or Adam Grant’s words—I am languishing.) is I am forever changing and people don’t know what to expect from me. Every pro has a con, every con has a pro.
I feel that there is no absolute truth in this world. I can’t help but think different because that how I am built.
If one thing is constant about me is:
1. I am naturally attracted by bold, ambitious visionaries with a heart.
2. I am naturally curious and always seeing the world in another perspective. That’s the benefits of mostly NOT working in an organisation where groupthink prevailed.
3. I don’t need to say more about being a rebel.
Justin, I appreciate this. I am not at that level yet. I am humble with so much attention. It has been really fun.
This is great! I went from being a pilates studio owner to a therapist. When I decided to change people either encouraged me or continually held on to that old version of me. I a client say to me-when you don't make it as a therapist, I will take pilates lessons from you twice a week. As a therapist I'm constantly being told I need to niche but I never wanted to pigeon hold myself into one thing and it has worked for me, keeping my work diverse and more interesting.
Keeping you constantly engaged in your work - tremendous personal payoff in the single player game we're playing, that things like "unsubscribe" are waking us up to....
It makes me think of how many of us are more than likely in different vocations now, than what we originally set out to be in our 20’s.
Absolutely! - or still stuck in the same old groundhogs day scenarios
In grade school, I was the goody two-shoes:
I always followed the rules;
I always got A’s;
and I never got in trouble.
In high school, I decided I didn’t want to be goody two-shoes anymore, so I became a rebel: I became a drinker, a smoker, and a class disruptor, and I kept it up all the way to getting kicked out of an exclusive New England prep school in the 11th grade.
I still got all A’s and got into Harvard early, but kids no longer teased me or called me “square.” I had forever changed my “brand.”
***
I’m not sure if the above is directly responsive to your excellent essay, but it’s Monday morning, and that’s the thought you inspired.
Sending you cheer for a fabulous day-
💌
Living this in real time. At first, other people’s discomfort had me second guessing! Then I realized, it was actually the signal to keep going 😮💨
Yes, that's the tipping point
Justin, this hits hard. Folks forget that the character they choose at the start can end up becoming a cage. I’ve learned the same thing building my own brand—authenticity gives you room to evolve, but false roles box you in. Appreciate how you framed it.
People have very less memory to store information about everybody. The way our mind has evolved and adapted is that we associate people, place, things in our lives with something and then move on with it. That's why jingles were so popular in advertisements(and they still are to be honest). Once you like a jingle , you sing it in bathroom, cafeteria everywhere and then that brand get's associated with a small space in your mind. So whenever you go to the supermarket to buy something...guess what will you buy? The brand whose jingle is stuck in your head.....Sadly this is the same with people too.
Great share. It takes so much energy to prop up our false characters that we must enroll others to reinforce it with us. How many times do we try to exit the echo chambers we created for ourselves, only to get sucked back again? How many times have we supported the false masks of those around us, even when we see the truth of who they are? Thank goodness we all fail at becoming the person we were supposed to be in order to realize and embody the truth of who we are.
Reflecting in real time, nice to see the post, happy Monday, thanks Justin✨☀️
Love this ... I feel most people go through life in character roles vs being the true author of their story. Why ... safety? If feels safe. Your post reminded me of a quote I came, by the mystic Gurdjieff: "The first act of freedom is to become aware of your prison." Or maybe it should say .. the first act of authorship is to become aware of the "safety" characters you are living. It is a great reminder that you dont have to blow your story up to be authentic, you just need to pause long enough to recognize who's authoring your story (character living is always authored by someone other than you) ... and reclaim your voice. Because sometimes…the most powerful way forward…is to pause. And recognize the door to the cage/prison you are living is open.
Indeed, one must be careful about one's identity ("ego"), often there are multiple ones. If one digs deeper one realizes those to be arbitrary fictions, often switched out to hide fear, or to gain validation or status.
Or, become reckless in our ability to shatter the old perceptions of how others view us - half the fun is deciding what others expect from us, and disappointing them - its a bit of a poker game
That's a good one as well. It can surface internal fears, good exercise to actively play both with external and internal expectations