You're playing the wrong character.
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Everyone gets typecast in their lives eventually.
And you don't have to be an actor or actress for this to happen. I’m talking about you and me, and our friend from college who can't escape being "the party guy" (even though he's 40 with three kids now).
This thought hit me when I was on the treadmill in Chicago recently, listening to an old episode of the Rich Roll podcast with Tim Ferriss. They were discussing how much Tim had changed over the past 18 years since releasing The 4-Hour Workweek. As Tim described his transformation, he said something that really stuck with me. He said:
“Be careful choosing what character you play in your 'TV pilot' because if the show is successful, you have to play that character forever.”
He wasn’t talking about TV pilots. He was talking about how we show up in the world and how we get typecast if we’re successful at it.
And he meant it as a warning. Because once people know you as something, good luck being anything else. Tim’s the 4-hour guy. And he leaned into it hard. The 4-hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, and The 4-Hour Chef. But Tim doesn’t appear to be that guy anymore. He’s not interested in ultra-optimization.
Think about it in your own life. You were probably the smart one, the funny one, the responsible one, or the rebel. And decades later, there’s a good chance that you’re still playing the same part.
And it’s not just you and me.
I have so many friends who have labels. The "driven one," the "perfect parent," and the "guy who is hilarious at dinner parties." Most of them are sick and tired of playing the same role and want to change, but it's ingrained so deeply in who they've become.
The worst part is how it happens. Slowly. You do something once, people like it, so you do more of it. Over and over and over. Until one day you wake up and realize you're performing your own life instead of truly living it.
Pretty soon, your family expects the old you, your friends want the version they met, and your coworkers need you to stay in your lane. Everyone has a deep interest in you staying exactly the same.
So you do it, even when it doesn’t feel right.
But what if this whole premise is wrong? What if instead of sticking with a character, you just stopped?
Some people pull this off, almost like they’re shape-shifters. One year they're into CrossFit, and the next year they're learning a new language. But they never become the “CrossFit girl” or “Pottery guy.” They change hobbies, careers, cities…and best of all, they change their minds. And people still love them.
The difference is that they never promised to be one thing. They never latched on to one specific thing and went all in. They promised to be themselves, whatever that meant this day, week, month, or year.
When you make authenticity your brand instead of some specific trait or interest, evolution becomes a helluva lot easier.
Want to escape being typecast?
Start small. Change one thing that everyone expects from you. Order different food, or disagree with your own old opinion, or even wear something that surprises people.
Watch how uncomfortable everyone gets. That discomfort is you breaking character right in front of them.
The person you were five years ago got you here.
But you don't owe them the rest of your life.
What’s your take on today’s topic? Do you agree, disagree, or is there something I missed?
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Very interesting! I was at a conference in April where Brene Brown spoke. I’d always heard she was the “It” for shame. In her talk she said she could care less about shame. It’s the character she played at one time and she’s moved on but she’s still known for it and not what she’s interested in today.
Absolutely love this @Justin Welsh.
Steve Jobs was known for changing his mind on a dime. A lot of people found that incredibly annoying but he believed that flexibility in thinking was a virtue not a fault.
I think the same goes for adopting a flexible but balanced self-image.