Life is what happens when we’re busy making plans - even when the plan is to be less busy.
Living out what you write about is more about being authentic than perfect, and posts like these make me believe (without knowing you personally) that you’re authentic, and that helps more people than the illusion of perfection others are trying to represent.
Thanks, Melody. I try my best. I think earlier in my writing career, I wanted to make everyone feel like I had it figured out. And I certainly figured some things out, but we’ll never know everything. So now it’s more about writing with some vulnerability so more people know that their lives (and businesses) don’t have to be perfect to be successful.
The article rings very true, but the tweet that's mentioned might also have a much more prosaic explanation: it's just urban myths. Trying to search for the source of any of these claims doesn't surface any evidence for it being true. I suspect it's all made up.
As you wrote: it's not surprising it went viral. Successful people being frauds is super popular. It's easier to point and say "ha, they're actually worse than me" than it is to strive to improve.
Which makes the rest of your post even more important. Experts failing points to them being just regular struggling humans like the rest of us. Which makes it more realistic that maybe we could succeed. :)
Hi Justin, I just wanted to say I have unsubscribed from most newsletters and social media. You are the few I have left. Your substack is a breath of fresh air that always makes me think. I also appreciate your honest reflections. Thanks for continuing to write and share.☺️
What a kind comment, Stacie. Thanks for taking the time to share it, and also for spending some of your valuable time giving this a read. Appreciate you!
This was a juicy read. I tell my clients not leave their job without a significant safety, ideally 10 months plus. I have left jobs in the past (without anything lined up) with only a few months of runway.
One of my rules of life is to only take advice from people who have struggled with the thing--if it comes easy for you, then it's too hard to tease out causation from correlation.
even as a leading health + detox expert helping others navigate gut, hormone, thyroid, skin, metabolic, energy, weight, and mitochondrial issues, i still experience my own waves and challenges with health.
but every phase teaches me something new, and those lessons deepen how I support others in their healing.
i don’t teach from theory. i teach from lived experience, continual learning, and applying what actually works.
We can aspire to live a certain kind of life and always be in pursuit even though you never achieve it 100%. We are all hypocrites in some way. Including the author od the tweet you quoted.
I'm a coach. I work with creative professionals, especially authors because I've been a writer all my working life.
So I know creative process. I know fear and doubt. I know when I'm doing busywork, and avoiding the hard stuff. But none of this stopped me delaying starting my next book for nearly two months.
I finally got stuck in this week, and it felt great. This newsletter landed at just the right time to stop me beating myself up for not doing it earlier.
We're all fallible. We're all a work in progress. And we have to embrace the imperfect days, as well as the ones where it all goes to plan.
It's aspirational. We see the flaws or imperfections in ourselves and become "experts" because we're trying to figure it out.
Have compassion for the expert (or guru or leader). They're simply traveling ahead of us on the same road. But they may fall by the wayside. So our job is to support them in getting back on the path, not vilify them for being false prophets.
I really like this idea. Thanks for sharing. Justin, I wonder if you think there is more depth and value to be found in an author who both knows the teaching and fully lives them? Do you think that matters to you personally when reading?
I don't personally believe that exists. I think, to live them to the best of your ability, you have to make mistakes. And I don't believe "experts" ever reach a level where they are mistake-free. So, I'd say the best thing to do is follow experts who try their best, get it right most of the time, and are open, honest, and transparent enough to share when they don't.
Good thought. I like that. Let me try that question from a different perspective, if there’s not full absolutes and if there’s a spectrum of not living the advice —> living the advice, do you find more value from authors who are further on the right side?
I think what I’m really asking is have you found a way of thinking that is good at parsing out information and applying it to your life, regardless of how true of a place the person might be teaching it from?
It’s humbling how easy it is to articulate principles and how hard it is to consistently practice them. The awareness of that gap is probably the first step to closing it.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’m starting to share more about my writing experience, specifically about how I navigate the emotions that make writing so difficult, but then I’ll hit my own block and struggle with the exact same feelings I’m trying to help others move through. It’s been making me wonder if that means maybe I shouldn’t be trying to help others—I don’t want to be a fraud. But I like your distinction between doing and teaching, and the nuance between. Thanks for the fresh perspective!
Sure thing! Remember that everyone struggles, even "experts." Just go out there and share what you know and be open, honest, and transparent. People want to learn and they'll learn just as much from your failures as your successes.
Hi Jason! I always love your newsletters. Having had a mother that had a Dale Carnegie franchise in Europe, I want to correct the misconception that Dale Carnegie died alone. He had a wife and children. I've actually met his wife and she was a lovely person who helped continue his legacy.
Yeah, I talked about this in another comment where I messed this up but not verifying this Tweet enough. See? Even people who are supposed to be doing their diligence make dumb mistakes! 😂 I'm going to correct the article.
I've fallen prey to a lot of misinformation. It's so easy to do when so much information is coming at you so quickly. Sometimes I hesitate to even send videos because I have moment of "is this AI?" Weird times.
Thanks Mitzi for clearing up the misconception about Dale Carnegie. I was saddened to read that he could have died alone after all the great work he did.
On the surface... other things of life get in the way. Or I get analysis paralysis about which social platform to invest time in. The deeper reason is probably psychological/emotional but I am not able to condense that into words on a comment.
Why not start small? Tell yourself that every Tuesday (or whatever day you choose) you'll sit down and write a short piece of content about one thing you learned that was valuable the previous week. Shoot yourself voice notes over the week to remember things. Or one observation. Or one prediction or whatever. Just one thing. Content is a muscle. You'll learn to start getting better at voice notes and better at putting what you learn into words on a page. Over time, work toward 2 days a week. No rush. Social isn't going anywhere!
Life is what happens when we’re busy making plans - even when the plan is to be less busy.
Living out what you write about is more about being authentic than perfect, and posts like these make me believe (without knowing you personally) that you’re authentic, and that helps more people than the illusion of perfection others are trying to represent.
Thanks, Melody. I try my best. I think earlier in my writing career, I wanted to make everyone feel like I had it figured out. And I certainly figured some things out, but we’ll never know everything. So now it’s more about writing with some vulnerability so more people know that their lives (and businesses) don’t have to be perfect to be successful.
Agreed.
The article rings very true, but the tweet that's mentioned might also have a much more prosaic explanation: it's just urban myths. Trying to search for the source of any of these claims doesn't surface any evidence for it being true. I suspect it's all made up.
As you wrote: it's not surprising it went viral. Successful people being frauds is super popular. It's easier to point and say "ha, they're actually worse than me" than it is to strive to improve.
Which makes the rest of your post even more important. Experts failing points to them being just regular struggling humans like the rest of us. Which makes it more realistic that maybe we could succeed. :)
Ha. That's hilarious. Candidly...I didn't even think to check. Shows you how dumb we can be when we're not doing our own diligence 😂
Hi Justin, I just wanted to say I have unsubscribed from most newsletters and social media. You are the few I have left. Your substack is a breath of fresh air that always makes me think. I also appreciate your honest reflections. Thanks for continuing to write and share.☺️
What a kind comment, Stacie. Thanks for taking the time to share it, and also for spending some of your valuable time giving this a read. Appreciate you!
☺️🫶🏽
This was a juicy read. I tell my clients not leave their job without a significant safety, ideally 10 months plus. I have left jobs in the past (without anything lined up) with only a few months of runway.
One of my rules of life is to only take advice from people who have struggled with the thing--if it comes easy for you, then it's too hard to tease out causation from correlation.
Smart move. Didn't know you were on Substack! Good to see ya bud.
even as a leading health + detox expert helping others navigate gut, hormone, thyroid, skin, metabolic, energy, weight, and mitochondrial issues, i still experience my own waves and challenges with health.
but every phase teaches me something new, and those lessons deepen how I support others in their healing.
i don’t teach from theory. i teach from lived experience, continual learning, and applying what actually works.
We can aspire to live a certain kind of life and always be in pursuit even though you never achieve it 100%. We are all hypocrites in some way. Including the author od the tweet you quoted.
I'm a coach. I work with creative professionals, especially authors because I've been a writer all my working life.
So I know creative process. I know fear and doubt. I know when I'm doing busywork, and avoiding the hard stuff. But none of this stopped me delaying starting my next book for nearly two months.
I finally got stuck in this week, and it felt great. This newsletter landed at just the right time to stop me beating myself up for not doing it earlier.
We're all fallible. We're all a work in progress. And we have to embrace the imperfect days, as well as the ones where it all goes to plan.
So glad the timing was good, Sheryl! :)
We teach what we want to become.
It's aspirational. We see the flaws or imperfections in ourselves and become "experts" because we're trying to figure it out.
Have compassion for the expert (or guru or leader). They're simply traveling ahead of us on the same road. But they may fall by the wayside. So our job is to support them in getting back on the path, not vilify them for being false prophets.
I really like this idea. Thanks for sharing. Justin, I wonder if you think there is more depth and value to be found in an author who both knows the teaching and fully lives them? Do you think that matters to you personally when reading?
I don't personally believe that exists. I think, to live them to the best of your ability, you have to make mistakes. And I don't believe "experts" ever reach a level where they are mistake-free. So, I'd say the best thing to do is follow experts who try their best, get it right most of the time, and are open, honest, and transparent enough to share when they don't.
Good thought. I like that. Let me try that question from a different perspective, if there’s not full absolutes and if there’s a spectrum of not living the advice —> living the advice, do you find more value from authors who are further on the right side?
I think what I’m really asking is have you found a way of thinking that is good at parsing out information and applying it to your life, regardless of how true of a place the person might be teaching it from?
It’s humbling how easy it is to articulate principles and how hard it is to consistently practice them. The awareness of that gap is probably the first step to closing it.
For sure, Frank.
Yeah
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’m starting to share more about my writing experience, specifically about how I navigate the emotions that make writing so difficult, but then I’ll hit my own block and struggle with the exact same feelings I’m trying to help others move through. It’s been making me wonder if that means maybe I shouldn’t be trying to help others—I don’t want to be a fraud. But I like your distinction between doing and teaching, and the nuance between. Thanks for the fresh perspective!
Sure thing! Remember that everyone struggles, even "experts." Just go out there and share what you know and be open, honest, and transparent. People want to learn and they'll learn just as much from your failures as your successes.
Ah, thank you for this!!
PERFECTLY said Justin!! Thank you!!
Thank you, Dorine!
Hi Jason! I always love your newsletters. Having had a mother that had a Dale Carnegie franchise in Europe, I want to correct the misconception that Dale Carnegie died alone. He had a wife and children. I've actually met his wife and she was a lovely person who helped continue his legacy.
Yeah, I talked about this in another comment where I messed this up but not verifying this Tweet enough. See? Even people who are supposed to be doing their diligence make dumb mistakes! 😂 I'm going to correct the article.
Also, I wrote Jason not Justin. My apologies for that
All good! :)
I've fallen prey to a lot of misinformation. It's so easy to do when so much information is coming at you so quickly. Sometimes I hesitate to even send videos because I have moment of "is this AI?" Weird times.
Thanks Mitzi for clearing up the misconception about Dale Carnegie. I was saddened to read that he could have died alone after all the great work he did.
I also added this to the newsletter.
Brilliant
Great article Justin. I appreciate your reflections and honesty.
My struggle... I know producing regular content is critical to starting an online business, however I keep failing to do it.
What's the #1 reason you fail to do it, Benjamin?
On the surface... other things of life get in the way. Or I get analysis paralysis about which social platform to invest time in. The deeper reason is probably psychological/emotional but I am not able to condense that into words on a comment.
Why not start small? Tell yourself that every Tuesday (or whatever day you choose) you'll sit down and write a short piece of content about one thing you learned that was valuable the previous week. Shoot yourself voice notes over the week to remember things. Or one observation. Or one prediction or whatever. Just one thing. Content is a muscle. You'll learn to start getting better at voice notes and better at putting what you learn into words on a page. Over time, work toward 2 days a week. No rush. Social isn't going anywhere!
Great advice. I will do that Justin.