I once moved from NYC to Lancaster, PA. Assumed I’d feel so relaxed and happy w/o the financial pressure & the stress from the NY life. I was miserable. Total culture shock. Even putting money aside, it is REALLY hard to be happy living away from the northeast if you grew up here, I have found. And good to hear re Nashville, as I used to consider it as so perfect for all. Thanks and sending Monday morn cheer- 💌
Finding the right environment is critical to happiness… and it’s not that easy actually because usually it takes being in this environment for long enough to sense if it will be right for us or not.
Being behind the bar 3-4 nights a week waiting on a well-heeled demographic of patron, I hear this resounding dissatisfaction and even hatred of the job they perform to maintain a lifestyle they don't even necessarily want, but its the conformity trap they've fallen into without even noticing it - knowing they would never lower themselves to perform a service job like mine.
What if I'm happier as a minion to them within "societal standards and norms" than they are being waited on? Not saying this is necessarily the case but it sure feels this way. I make a fraction what these people make but I love where I live, what I'm learning more about the path I'm creating and sometimes can't even explain why, nor feel the need to - only living into the next moment, finding my pace....
Hell yeah. Love this comment, Jon. I dunno…I don’t think of service workers as minions (I know you’re being a bit cheeky) because they literally keep me eating the good food and drinking the good drinks!
Amen - the older I get the more I love it - AND it frees my days to pursue other creative adventures that feed the soul of what you're referencing in todays topic - thanks for writing this....
I think it comes from the sense of belonging that we have rooted in our brains.
But you’re 100% right. So many live a “miserable” life just to keep up with the Joneses.
I’d rather make less money doing something that brings me joy and let me live the life I want than making more and be miserable. That’s the choice I made a few years ago, and I’m not going back.
A common one is the idea that you should live farther away to save on housing. Is it really that much cheaper? Now you have added costs in terms of gas, car wear and tear, and the opportunity cost of sitting in traffic 1-2 hours per day. Also, it is unlikely this cheaper place is where you want to hang out, so you now have to add the above mentioned commuting costs to your recreational activities as well.
When my wife looks for a location to buy a house and she’ll like “it’s so cheap over there, we could get this and this for that much”… I always ask “why is it so cheap?” (which she hates 🤣).
Super important. If you're working on your own and you're in an environment you don't like, that's going to be a huge challenge. I know it was for me, Kevin.
I always thought I’d be living in a big city forever due to my career. Turns out the increased peace and quality of life I’ve gained leaving a big city is worth the effort of rejiggering a few things.
That's good of you to take notice of that. I love where I live now. I miss the pace of a city and may find myself back in one at some point, but unclear at the moment. Different seasons of life require different places, ya know?
I feel lost. In six months, I will graduate and be a fully licensed physical therapist. I can not wait to begin my new career. But, for the last seven years, I have been living in the hometown I grew up in. I’m not the same person, and I don’t want to live here for the rest of my life. Yet, I have no idea where I want to live. I would love to find my forever home, where I can put down roots and build a therapy facility. Just unsure where that is. The tricky part is navigating the noise from the online world, as well as determining the best locations for business, the best states for taxes, and optimal income. The “important” things. After reading this, I still feel lost, but more certain that none of that matters. I hope that God will give me the sign once I reach that destination. Justin, thank you for writing an incredible essay that we can all enjoy and shine a light on what’s important.
Faith goes such a lonnnnnng way! But as the Bible also says, "Faith without works is dead." Bottom line, my advice would be to (a) maintain your faith and belief that God will give you that sign as you mentioned while (b) being thoroughly ready to take those first big steps once you feel called to do so. If you ever need anything, just holler! I'd be more than willing to also help you perform any needed research, analysis of options that you feel align with your God-given vision, etc.
Thank you for the kind and reassuring words. Faith is vital to personal and professional success. I’m embarking on a journey to strengthen my relationship with God. I can’t thank you enough for the generous offer and the hope you have provided.
Also, I wanted to say Semper Fi. It’s wonderful to be speaking with another brother and Marine. I look forward to more conversations with you!
Boom 🙌🏽 Another great message, Justin. I can witness to the fact that I’m living in a small town for financial costs. We’re thankful because we also live close to our family and nieces, but there are days where we dream of being able to have another place close to the water. It’ll happen, and we’re anxious for that day where we could split time not only in the USA but also with my side of family in Colombia, South America.
Hi Justin your group of experts is woefully unbalanced. I challenge you to look outside your male circle and even up the balance of not only women, but people of a different race as well.
We live right in the heart of Berlin/Germany (pretty nice for a live meetup for unsubscribers, by the way?); we really love it. But it also gets on your nerves eventually. We especially noticed this during the Corona times. Four years ago, we found ourselves a little house in the countryside. Now we spend half the week in the hustle and bustle of Berlin and the other half in the countryside, by the lake and among forests. We love it. It's exactly as you say - it's financially expensive but emotionally it has multiple times the value in return.
Love this, Justin - especially “I was saving money and spending happiness.” That hit hard.
As someone who left corporate life in early retirement (with no intention of becoming a coach or building an empire), I’m asking the same thing now: Can we build something meaningful just by sharing what we’ve lived? Without burning all our bandwidth while slow traveling?
Your post reminds me why I left — and how I started calculating emotional ROI. That shift changed everything. I wrote about it in my Substack.
I’m rooting for whatever’s next. Just not from Nashville 😉
I once moved from NYC to Lancaster, PA. Assumed I’d feel so relaxed and happy w/o the financial pressure & the stress from the NY life. I was miserable. Total culture shock. Even putting money aside, it is REALLY hard to be happy living away from the northeast if you grew up here, I have found. And good to hear re Nashville, as I used to consider it as so perfect for all. Thanks and sending Monday morn cheer- 💌
I feel this deeply, as you can tell from the essay. Happy Monday morning to you, Amanda!
Amen - the New England atmosphere is hard to beat if you grew up there...
Finding the right environment is critical to happiness… and it’s not that easy actually because usually it takes being in this environment for long enough to sense if it will be right for us or not.
Being behind the bar 3-4 nights a week waiting on a well-heeled demographic of patron, I hear this resounding dissatisfaction and even hatred of the job they perform to maintain a lifestyle they don't even necessarily want, but its the conformity trap they've fallen into without even noticing it - knowing they would never lower themselves to perform a service job like mine.
What if I'm happier as a minion to them within "societal standards and norms" than they are being waited on? Not saying this is necessarily the case but it sure feels this way. I make a fraction what these people make but I love where I live, what I'm learning more about the path I'm creating and sometimes can't even explain why, nor feel the need to - only living into the next moment, finding my pace....
Hell yeah. Love this comment, Jon. I dunno…I don’t think of service workers as minions (I know you’re being a bit cheeky) because they literally keep me eating the good food and drinking the good drinks!
Amen - the older I get the more I love it - AND it frees my days to pursue other creative adventures that feed the soul of what you're referencing in todays topic - thanks for writing this....
I think it comes from the sense of belonging that we have rooted in our brains.
But you’re 100% right. So many live a “miserable” life just to keep up with the Joneses.
I’d rather make less money doing something that brings me joy and let me live the life I want than making more and be miserable. That’s the choice I made a few years ago, and I’m not going back.
And again, we need the initial struggles to wake us up as you've done - good on you....
For sure. It’s (unfortunately) a necessary step.
A common one is the idea that you should live farther away to save on housing. Is it really that much cheaper? Now you have added costs in terms of gas, car wear and tear, and the opportunity cost of sitting in traffic 1-2 hours per day. Also, it is unlikely this cheaper place is where you want to hang out, so you now have to add the above mentioned commuting costs to your recreational activities as well.
Yep. Often, it just makes sense (emotionally and financially) to pay to live in the place you truly want to be.
When my wife looks for a location to buy a house and she’ll like “it’s so cheap over there, we could get this and this for that much”… I always ask “why is it so cheap?” (which she hates 🤣).
There is always a reason.
I am the same, I always find places on zillow that are so cheap and lovely - then my husband chimes in with "yes, but them we have to live in......."
Yeah, it’s like “it’s cheap yep, but it’s literally in the middle of nowhere though 🏜️” 🤣
financial burden and its emotional cost is a real thing we dont realize how paying from our emotions is costly
Yep. It can be extremely costly.
could you read my post too and give me a feedback i would highly appreciate it https://erizwan.substack.com/p/when-counting-sheep-dosent-work?r=4w399k
We usually realize the emotional cost of things when it’s too late 😕
Thanks for the super critical reminder to factor in joy and stoking the fires in our belly when we make major life decisions.
Certainly. Thanks for reading.
This is particularly important to get dialed in when you go out on your own.
Building (creating) anything less than what you truly want is telling yourself, “I’m not worth it.”
Been there. Done that. Not going back.
Super important. If you're working on your own and you're in an environment you don't like, that's going to be a huge challenge. I know it was for me, Kevin.
Agreed - thats why its important to make the mistakes that teach us what we truly want most...
I encourage people to look into their astrocartography. It's very helpful to figure out what places are in alignment for you.
Very cool. Not familiar with that at all.
Use this https://www.astro.com/cgi/aclch.cgi?btyp=acm#det=0&cen.x=8.583&cen.y=47.333&zoom=2&btyp= and AI to look up and understand your lines.
Thank you!
If your essays were a mixtape, I could just press play and enjoy each one without needing to skip anything. 🔥🔥🔥
Thanks, man!
Thanks so much for sharing your perspective and experience. You’re “normalizing” this quality of life-first approach to business and life integration.
Thanks, Lane. Appreciate you reading it!
I always thought I’d be living in a big city forever due to my career. Turns out the increased peace and quality of life I’ve gained leaving a big city is worth the effort of rejiggering a few things.
That's good of you to take notice of that. I love where I live now. I miss the pace of a city and may find myself back in one at some point, but unclear at the moment. Different seasons of life require different places, ya know?
Absolutely. We’re both former NYC guys. I still get to the city regularly for work but it’s spread out.
My wife and I talk about this a lot. We miss the pace but the trade off doesn’t make sense RIGHT NOW. Doesn’t mean forever.
Life is all about seasons 100%
In my case, I did the opposite, I came from the city to small town which really helped me achieve more peace in my life.
I feel lost. In six months, I will graduate and be a fully licensed physical therapist. I can not wait to begin my new career. But, for the last seven years, I have been living in the hometown I grew up in. I’m not the same person, and I don’t want to live here for the rest of my life. Yet, I have no idea where I want to live. I would love to find my forever home, where I can put down roots and build a therapy facility. Just unsure where that is. The tricky part is navigating the noise from the online world, as well as determining the best locations for business, the best states for taxes, and optimal income. The “important” things. After reading this, I still feel lost, but more certain that none of that matters. I hope that God will give me the sign once I reach that destination. Justin, thank you for writing an incredible essay that we can all enjoy and shine a light on what’s important.
Faith goes such a lonnnnnng way! But as the Bible also says, "Faith without works is dead." Bottom line, my advice would be to (a) maintain your faith and belief that God will give you that sign as you mentioned while (b) being thoroughly ready to take those first big steps once you feel called to do so. If you ever need anything, just holler! I'd be more than willing to also help you perform any needed research, analysis of options that you feel align with your God-given vision, etc.
Thank you for the kind and reassuring words. Faith is vital to personal and professional success. I’m embarking on a journey to strengthen my relationship with God. I can’t thank you enough for the generous offer and the hope you have provided.
Also, I wanted to say Semper Fi. It’s wonderful to be speaking with another brother and Marine. I look forward to more conversations with you!
Boom 🙌🏽 Another great message, Justin. I can witness to the fact that I’m living in a small town for financial costs. We’re thankful because we also live close to our family and nieces, but there are days where we dream of being able to have another place close to the water. It’ll happen, and we’re anxious for that day where we could split time not only in the USA but also with my side of family in Colombia, South America.
Hi Justin your group of experts is woefully unbalanced. I challenge you to look outside your male circle and even up the balance of not only women, but people of a different race as well.
We live right in the heart of Berlin/Germany (pretty nice for a live meetup for unsubscribers, by the way?); we really love it. But it also gets on your nerves eventually. We especially noticed this during the Corona times. Four years ago, we found ourselves a little house in the countryside. Now we spend half the week in the hustle and bustle of Berlin and the other half in the countryside, by the lake and among forests. We love it. It's exactly as you say - it's financially expensive but emotionally it has multiple times the value in return.
Being able to have both sides of the coin like this is so wonderful! Kudos on you for making this happen 👏
Appreciate it! It's definitely our little slice of paradise. The contrast between city energy and countryside calm keeps us balanced.
Love this, Justin - especially “I was saving money and spending happiness.” That hit hard.
As someone who left corporate life in early retirement (with no intention of becoming a coach or building an empire), I’m asking the same thing now: Can we build something meaningful just by sharing what we’ve lived? Without burning all our bandwidth while slow traveling?
Your post reminds me why I left — and how I started calculating emotional ROI. That shift changed everything. I wrote about it in my Substack.
I’m rooting for whatever’s next. Just not from Nashville 😉