The emotional cost.

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The average person is pretty comfortable calculating financial costs.

We track the basic stuff like rent, groceries, gas, and childcare meticulously, making sure the life and work we’re building covers our expenses.

How often do you go the extra step of calculating the emotional cost of your decisions?

Over the last decade, I've had numerous private conversations with people who are secure financially but struggling emotionally. They're working 8+ hours per day at jobs they hate, living in cities they wish they could leave, and are stuck in unfulfilling relationships because, financially, "it makes sense."

I've been there.

I moved to Nashville in 2020. Affordable homes. Reasonable cost of living. No state income tax. I literally built a spreadsheet to make the choice to buy a home there. And the spreadsheet said I was winning.

But I was unhappy in Nashville. Every morning, I'd trudge up to my office, look out the window, and feel trapped. The city didn't inspire me. The culture didn't match what I was looking for. The pace never felt right.

To be clear, this isn't a dig at Nashville at all. It's an awesome city for lots of people. It just wasn't a match for me.

I was saving money and spending happiness.

Emotional mathematics don’t usually show up in our decision-making. We'll analyze the financial costs of moving to a new city or changing careers, but we'll completely ignore the happiness, fulfillment, and mental health costs.

Misalignment between who you are, where you are, and what you do is tough. It can start to feel like a spirit-crushing mistake that compounds daily.

Think about it.

When you're in the wrong environment, working on projects you don’t like, living somewhere that doesn't give you energy, or surrounded by people you don’t vibe with, you're not just unhappy in specific moments. It’s a constant penetrating unhappiness. It messes with everything. It hurts your creativity, destroys your relationships, and degrades your physical and mental health.

I’m not suggesting being impulsive or financially reckless just to be in a good place, work a good job, or find a new group of friends. I’m talking about simply acknowledging that emotional costs are real.

That financial expenses and emotional expenses are both worth thinking about.

Sometimes, cheap financial options come with a big emotional price tag.

When I relocated to a place I love, my expenses went up about 40%. But that investment was worth it. I have more energy, more friends, more opportunities, and a fire for my purpose.

It’s worth examining these emotional costs in your life. What are you currently paying? Is staying in that job, that city, or that relationship actually cheap? Or is it bankrupting parts of yourself that don’t show up on a spreadsheet?

Only you know the answer. But asking the question is the first step in discovering it.

Don’t stay where you don't belong just because the rent is cheap.

And I’m not only talking about geography.

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