Welcome to issue #015 of Unsubscribe. Each week, I send two essays that help you step off the default path to build a life you love, supported by work you enjoy. If you need support on your entrepreneurial journey, join our network of over 900 entrepreneurs. You’ll instantly access our group chat, weekly live Q&As, monthly workshops, and exclusive networking events.
We live in a world that demands you pick a side.
You're either ambitious or content. You chase money or meaning. You work hard, or you're obsessed with balance. You're a dreamer or you're practical.
But can’t we have it all? And isn’t it more natural?
The people I admire the most have figured out something that most of us miss: contradictory ideas can both be true at the same time.
You can be incredibly ambitious and deeply satisfied with what you already have. You can chase financial success and refuse to sacrifice your values. You can work your rear-end off and maintain strict boundaries around your personal time.
These aren't contradictions at all. They're the reality of building a life that actually works.
But somewhere along the way, we’ve lost the ability to hold two opposing thoughts without our heads exploding. Everything became binary. Black or white. Right or wrong. Pick your team and fight everyone else.
This shows up everywhere in how we think about work and life.
People argue about whether you should follow your passion or be practical about your career. The truth is that you need both. Following your passion while ignoring the reality of your idea will lead to a business that struggles. Being 100% practical without any excitement about what you're doing leads to a career that you come to resent.
Life, to me, is about finding the overlap. When you're passionate and practical. When you stop treating these two sides like enemies, and instead think of them as complementary.
The same goes for work-life balance. We debate whether you should be all-in on your career or focus on personal fulfillment. Again, we're asking the wrong question.
The right question is: “How can I build a life I love, supported by work I enjoy?”
Maybe that means working intensely on a project you love and then taking a one-month sabbatical to recharge. Maybe it means saying no to opportunities that pay a lot but disrupt the schedule you've built for yourself. And maybe it means being present at work and then disconnecting completely when you return home to your family.
All of these things can be true at once. You can care deeply about your career and refuse to let it destroy your home life.
The world wants you to pick a side because it's easier to understand, easier to market to, and easier to argue about on social media.
But real life never fits perfectly into neat categories.
It's incredibly freeing once you realize this. You can start to hold space for things that appear to be contradictions at first glance.
So, next time someone tries to force you into a box, remember that you don't have to choose between two things.
You can be both.
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I love this take. I think it also extends to our personality in a way. mixing introvert and extrovert traits is often overly simplified as “ambivert”, but one can also be extrovert one day and completely silent the day after.
Big yes to the the power of This AND This. I'm learning that perhaps the whole experience of being a human be-ing, is this -- that life is happening, is created, is unfolding in the tension of contradictions. It's taken me a while to accept that I am both, sensitive yet with a strong drive/hustle. I can be a social butterfly and I need time to recharge. I know joy can sit alongside grief. I love your perspective on noticing our beliefs around binary thinking that might keep us stuck/ safe in a box. 🌟🌿