Welcome to issue #019 of Unsubscribe. Each week, I send two essays that help you step off the default path to build a life you love, supported by work you enjoy. If you need support on your entrepreneurial journey, join our network of over 900 entrepreneurs. You’ll instantly join our group chat, weekly live Q&As, monthly workshops, and private in-person events.
Successful people are often portrayed as ruthless in the movies.
It’s insinuated you need sharp elbows and an even sharper tongue to “make it big.” That crushing your competition is the only path to winning.
Some of this behavior manifests on social platforms like X, where mocking others is a strategy for brand building. Where kicking the weak while they’re down is seen as tough, cool, or worse yet, “masculine.”
I think these people are playing the game all wrong.
I've spent fifteen years watching the folks who actually win in business, and it's almost always the kind ones.
When I say kind, I don’t mean folks who are pushovers or people pleasers. I mean the genuinely kind people who root for others to succeed.
While dorky internet trolls are busy crafting perfect takedown tweets, successful entrepreneurs are sending notes of encouragement to their so-called "competitors." They're sharing ideas, making introductions, and helping people without expecting anything in return.
What looks like weakness to cynics is actually a smart strategy.
Kind people build networks that last. When they need help, people actually want to help them back. Their teams stick around. Their customers become evangelists for their products. They attract opportunities that never reach the loser keyboard warriors.
I know people running eight-figure businesses who never post negative comments. Who refuse to trash-talk competitors. Who celebrate when others in their space have big wins.
Are they saints? Not completely. Who is? But they are smart.
They know that burning bridges limits their options. That attacking others creates enemies where there could be allies. That negativity is exhausting and pulls their focus from what matters.
The angry people tearing others down? They think they're climbing to the top, but in reality, they're digging themselves into a deep hole.
They don't realize that the founders they admire (the ones with real success) aren't playing the same game. They're too busy building something meaningful to waste energy on tearing others down.
Sure, there are outliers. Complete jerks who are winning. Social media rewards conflict. The algorithm loves a fight. It's built to make us believe that success means beating others.
But as an across-the-board strategy? Don’t buy it.
The next time you feel that urge to post something mean or jump into a pile-on, ask yourself:
"Is this who I want to be?"
The answer will tell you everything about where you're headed.
Kindness isn't just good for the world.
It's good for business.
What’s your take on today’s topic? Do you agree, disagree, or is there something I missed?
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Next week, we have the author of The Pathless Path, Paul Millerd, coming in to talk about his unique approach to life and business, and an approach he calls “Ship, Quit, Learn.”
I cannot think for one moment that building a business around tearing others down feels good - even if they do achieve success off the back of that. In addition I value my time and do not wish to spend it engaging with angry, overly opinionated people who cannot make space for the way others may think and feel that might be different to them. I block. Liberally. And without engagement. I would much rather build my business and live a life with a moral compass (and I, like everyone am far from perfect), but I try to treat as I would like to be treated, and I hold that thought close in my every day interactions.
I still remember seeing a sign years ago, "because nice matters," and I still carry that mantra with me to this day. Thank you for the reminder Justin!