Great read. It's a constant reminder to find and keep! Your agency when you live in a world constantly telling you to stay in your lane. It's cultural as well and something I realised straight away when I moved to the UK from the states. The Brits are resiliant, kind and so lovely, but not direct and sometimes lack that adventurous spirit - that 'American spirit of do it first, apologise later." But we can inspire each other to do more, be more, try more and understand that no one will stand in your way. Those who do, you need to question why, then find a path around.
Ha, I recently had a similar conversation with a French guy who said, “Americans are so strange. They just think they can do anything!” We had a good laugh over our cultural differences.
Good reminder that it’s okay if our lives looks weird or different from everyone else around us. We can choose the path that works for us to build the life we want to live.
This is a GREAT reminder that we don’t need permission and should have more confidence in ourselves to make decisions.
What I will say (when it comes to my own lack of confidence to make seemingly simple decisions), is that in some areas I have tried SO MANY things that have, to me, ‘failed’ that it’s become difficult to know if my own voice/intuition is right.
So I feel the need to seek outside ‘permission’ because I feel like my instincts or trials/attempts have not led me down the path I desire to go, so my confidence is shaken and I question myself.
To follow the EXACT steps of a proven method like yours feels much safer. Does that make sense?
Mind if I ask what ‘inner work’ you have done to get to the place you are in today? Have you done therapy? Meditation? Energy healing? Perhaps lots of reading/attending webinars/implementing? Something else?
I feel a sense of such peace when I read what you write. No anxiety. A calm presence. Like a slow calm exhale while sitting comfortably but strong at the end of a meditation…does that make sense?
How do you exude such confidence and peace simultaneously? 😅
This hit home—especially this line: “I get emails from people every single day asking if they can apply my advice slightly differently. Of course, they can. I'm not the advice police.”
The urge to be pristinely original is a toxic purity spiral I’ve fallen into myself. That, and its close cousin—imposter syndrome—are two of the most stubborn mental blocks I see people face when launching a project or stepping into any path of real transformation.
It’s wild how often we wait for permission to become ourselves.
Learning creates a curve of progress in our life. But this curve is different for everyone.
I endeavour to derive most from other experience but I only see these actions as one among many possibilities. I can say that these are tested ways but I believe that there are other ways as well. I learn to grow and I don't want to fell in the loop of inflexibility. What we need is to see how successful people become successful and what people have learned from their failures. Then we have to find our course of action. Action that is a mix of learning from others and our strengths. No one is stopping us to make our cocktail of success.
Certainly hitting home for me. This past year has been a year of growth. I’ve tried a million things, and felt like I’ve pivoted from most of them. I’ve struggled showing my face to a few people in my life because of “shame.” I think, “there goes Jose trying something new,” but quite frankly who cares? I can’t deny that emotionally it’s affected me, but this same level of effect is helping me discern my values with my wife and trying to create a life that aligns with them. Still a work in progress, and here I am “unsubscribing” from people’s permission 😉
Man, that sounds so easy, but is (still) so hard. I found a pattern in my behaviour lately that might be connected to giving myself permission.
The pattern is as follows: Every time I want to do something I am interested in or excited about, I need to check if somebody else needs me first. I wrote about that in a comment in your #001 issue. Checking emails, WhatsApp, etc.
I realised this was always my way of doing things. I needed to make sure nobody else needed me. Even more specific: I needed to make sure that I was not in danger (for not responding to someone else's requests) and that - eventually - nobody would shout at me for missing a request.
The problem with that is that I will never get going. I'll never start. Or I start a tiny little bit but then stop. Even today, when NOBODY can force me to respond to a request. I am a FREE person but put myself in prison. It's my choice. So I have the choice to change that behaviour now. We all have.
I think of it as vantage points. Each time you take a step (with or without permission) you arrive at a new vantage point from which the world looks different, and that means you can take the next step in a slightly more informed and meaningful way.
Over time this compounds and the knowledge and wisdom you gain is awesome.
Taking steps without permission gains extra points I think because it requires you to invest more proactively and with more agency in that step which means you're learning at a deeper level.
I'm going to get another dog without asking for permission. Thank you, Justin!
Haha. Some things you must ask permission for. 🐶🐶🐶
Love that logic.... Justin my wife may be upset with you, I am following this logic!
Great read. It's a constant reminder to find and keep! Your agency when you live in a world constantly telling you to stay in your lane. It's cultural as well and something I realised straight away when I moved to the UK from the states. The Brits are resiliant, kind and so lovely, but not direct and sometimes lack that adventurous spirit - that 'American spirit of do it first, apologise later." But we can inspire each other to do more, be more, try more and understand that no one will stand in your way. Those who do, you need to question why, then find a path around.
Ha, I recently had a similar conversation with a French guy who said, “Americans are so strange. They just think they can do anything!” We had a good laugh over our cultural differences.
Yup, don't ask for permission now, but forgiveness later. if at all....
I feel like most of my life after graduating was unlearning all the habits I learned during school lol
I feel very much the same way.
I am reading a book called Not Nice right now... It's discussing this topic. Highly recommend so far!
Thanks for sharing Jon! Thats a great title, I’ll add it to my list ☺️
So true man, I feel the same way
Good reminder that it’s okay if our lives looks weird or different from everyone else around us. We can choose the path that works for us to build the life we want to live.
Absolutely. Be empowered to make those choices, Stephen.
This is a GREAT reminder that we don’t need permission and should have more confidence in ourselves to make decisions.
What I will say (when it comes to my own lack of confidence to make seemingly simple decisions), is that in some areas I have tried SO MANY things that have, to me, ‘failed’ that it’s become difficult to know if my own voice/intuition is right.
So I feel the need to seek outside ‘permission’ because I feel like my instincts or trials/attempts have not led me down the path I desire to go, so my confidence is shaken and I question myself.
To follow the EXACT steps of a proven method like yours feels much safer. Does that make sense?
Makes total sense. You’re looking for validation not permission. And we all need that from time to time, especially when things have failed before.
That’s true. It’s validation not permission.
Mind if I ask what ‘inner work’ you have done to get to the place you are in today? Have you done therapy? Meditation? Energy healing? Perhaps lots of reading/attending webinars/implementing? Something else?
I feel a sense of such peace when I read what you write. No anxiety. A calm presence. Like a slow calm exhale while sitting comfortably but strong at the end of a meditation…does that make sense?
How do you exude such confidence and peace simultaneously? 😅
This hit home—especially this line: “I get emails from people every single day asking if they can apply my advice slightly differently. Of course, they can. I'm not the advice police.”
The urge to be pristinely original is a toxic purity spiral I’ve fallen into myself. That, and its close cousin—imposter syndrome—are two of the most stubborn mental blocks I see people face when launching a project or stepping into any path of real transformation.
It’s wild how often we wait for permission to become ourselves.
Imposter syndrome is a big one - now an opportunity to just be the imposter and own it, leverage it...
You're speaking my language, Justin.
I've watched countless clients transform once they stopped asking "can I?" and started saying "I will."
It's amazing how much energy we waste seeking validation instead of making moves.
Appreciate you, Ryan!
Just get out there and try it... What's the worst thing that could happen?!?!
Once you realize you're not chained down, life tends to get a lot more exciting, Jon.
Your article is spot on, so many people follow rules they perceive...
Overthinking is the solopreneur's enemy. We learn way more from doing than thinking.
Learning creates a curve of progress in our life. But this curve is different for everyone.
I endeavour to derive most from other experience but I only see these actions as one among many possibilities. I can say that these are tested ways but I believe that there are other ways as well. I learn to grow and I don't want to fell in the loop of inflexibility. What we need is to see how successful people become successful and what people have learned from their failures. Then we have to find our course of action. Action that is a mix of learning from others and our strengths. No one is stopping us to make our cocktail of success.
Great read
I appreciate that, Sherry.
Certainly hitting home for me. This past year has been a year of growth. I’ve tried a million things, and felt like I’ve pivoted from most of them. I’ve struggled showing my face to a few people in my life because of “shame.” I think, “there goes Jose trying something new,” but quite frankly who cares? I can’t deny that emotionally it’s affected me, but this same level of effect is helping me discern my values with my wife and trying to create a life that aligns with them. Still a work in progress, and here I am “unsubscribing” from people’s permission 😉
This is why I don't give "homework" as a coach, but rather next steps or actions. I'm not giving anyone grades!
Man, that sounds so easy, but is (still) so hard. I found a pattern in my behaviour lately that might be connected to giving myself permission.
The pattern is as follows: Every time I want to do something I am interested in or excited about, I need to check if somebody else needs me first. I wrote about that in a comment in your #001 issue. Checking emails, WhatsApp, etc.
I realised this was always my way of doing things. I needed to make sure nobody else needed me. Even more specific: I needed to make sure that I was not in danger (for not responding to someone else's requests) and that - eventually - nobody would shout at me for missing a request.
The problem with that is that I will never get going. I'll never start. Or I start a tiny little bit but then stop. Even today, when NOBODY can force me to respond to a request. I am a FREE person but put myself in prison. It's my choice. So I have the choice to change that behaviour now. We all have.
As they say, we can always ask for forgiveness later … 🫣
Loved this post Justin.
I think of it as vantage points. Each time you take a step (with or without permission) you arrive at a new vantage point from which the world looks different, and that means you can take the next step in a slightly more informed and meaningful way.
Over time this compounds and the knowledge and wisdom you gain is awesome.
Taking steps without permission gains extra points I think because it requires you to invest more proactively and with more agency in that step which means you're learning at a deeper level.