Really enjoyed this one, Justin. Love how intentionally you reflect on yourself whether it’s work related or family related.
My first tattoo was “Be Here Now.” I originally learned the phrase ten years ago watching the documentary about Andy Whitfield.
I then went on to see the relationship the phrase had with Ram Daas and Buddhist practices. It’s my visual reminder every day - I see it most when I’m driving - just to be.
Hope you and Jen have plenty of moments “to be” this December.
I think part of it is the culture in the US about working like crazy, mechanically for years. Obsessed with productivity until one day you can retire when you're old and start enjoying life. I've read this is starting to change with younger generations who are spending their money in meaningful and valuable experiences.
By the way, your achievements are quite impressive so not everything is lost. Some highly successful people like you take sabbaticals to be present, re-energize, create experiences with family and friends and also to give back to the community, helping others be successful. I think a successful and intense life with those kind of breaks from time to time could make life more meaningful. Just my $.02
Excellent read. I have been feeling like this the past three years since my mother passed. It is indeed a reckoning to realize that you haven’t actually been living IN your life you’ve been just been checking tasks off a list. Glad that you found this awareness and believe many others will begin to awaken to this reality soon.
Justin, it’s not often that I fully read through newsletters anymore, many of them get lost on me. And I’m so glad I clicked on yours this morning. Thank you for your vulnerability! I’m in recovery from methamphetamine and this is something that many addicts begin to learn when we get sober. I also began practicing Buddhism a few years ago, and it has changed my life. A great video that I think pairs perfectly with your writing is an interview with Micheal Singer on Mayim Bialiks Breakdown. It’s very easy to be present while listening, and perfectly describes how simply being AWARE of what you are doing, is the biggest way to improve your life. I love the way you described the small moments such as enjoying your food. I’ve found myself doing this with chores and it makes life so much better! Being aware of your thoughts is the next step, it’s incredible how many things are floating around up there and we can learn to sit with and observe them, and even challenge them when necessary. Thank you so much for this gentle reminder. I am actually facilitating a Buddhist Recovery meeting this evening, and I think I will use this as the topic. Hopefully you don’t mind if I reference your news letter - Thank you for the inspiration!!
I can totally relate to this, and it gets even worse when you add kids to the equation. More events and milestones that you would like to remember but get caught in the blur. Like you, I have some awareness but really haven't solved this potentially unsolvable problem. Three things I have found that help - 1) A mindfulness practice (journaling, meditation, etc) to really give time to reflect on experiences. 2) Intentionally add novelty into your 'agenda'. New things trigger our memory to hit record and make experiences more likely to be recalled with specificity. It doesn't have to be monumental, just something new or interesting. 3) A travel journal - my wife and I started a joint journal to capture our travel experiences instead of arguing later about the what/when/how of different vacations or experiences.
Justin, I appreciate you showing up authentically here. You named something specific that comes with running your own business - the paradox of freedom - I’m feeling that too as I build. This is the identity work a lot of us are doing through different phases of our lives.
I think you wrote this one for me, Justin. Weekends become less about rest and more about checking things off the list. I'm glad I'm not alone and also glad that you're putting the challenge out there to actually experience your life, not achieve your way through it.
While reading this it felt like watching someone else live in my head. (I'm always doing one thing and racing to the next). Thank you for writing this. A lack of enjoying the journey I think will be a big regret for me too and I've been working on slowly shifting this. Your newsletter couldn't have been more well timed!
I think this is the best thing you've written. I've been reading your newsletter for a couple of years, and I've taken your courses, but this resonated with me in a new way. True. Real. Useful. Vulnerable. Love it, Man. Thanks for what you're doing.
We all do it from time to time. It's difficult to be in the present since we have designed our mind to focus on the next thing or the big things in our life. However living in the present can be practiced. That's what mindfulness meditation practice teaches us. Sadly, people don't have time to practice it, so they keep running, one task after other. When the rent is due, living in the present becomes a little difficult.
My mother passed less than a week ago, and our family is still trying to come to terms with her passing. Last night I had blocked time to work on my next newsletter and a book chapter/course outline.
And our teenage daughter grabbed me and said, "We're playing a board game."
And so we did. And we talked. And reminisced about her grandmother.
No agenda.
This was the most precious moment I've had with her for weeks.
I worked on the outline this morning. Everything will be fine.
More importantly, I now have this incredible connection, memory, and experience that I'll treasure forever.
Mike, I'm so sorry to hear that. Jennifer and I send our condolences. I'm so glad to hear you leaned into that moment and now have this amazing memory. Kudos to you, Mike.
I've read this, reread it -- and came back to read it again. Such a great piece, Justin.
I personally relate to a lot of this. One thing that I've noticed that seems to help (but still is no magic pill), is to take time at the end of the week (or even the day) and record a memorable event. I'm a Bullet Journal-er, so part of this is a Monthly listed "calendar" that I simply write memorable events in - but only after they've happened. The practice itself helps ground me and slow me down. And those things, without exception, are never the most "urgent" thing to get done on a daily basis. It's helped me to focus less on filling in the boxes, and more on living more in the present. But again, isn't any magical pill that's solved all the issues.
Really enjoyed this one, Justin. Love how intentionally you reflect on yourself whether it’s work related or family related.
My first tattoo was “Be Here Now.” I originally learned the phrase ten years ago watching the documentary about Andy Whitfield.
I then went on to see the relationship the phrase had with Ram Daas and Buddhist practices. It’s my visual reminder every day - I see it most when I’m driving - just to be.
Hope you and Jen have plenty of moments “to be” this December.
Thank you! We’re trying. This is the primary thing I continue to work on.
I think part of it is the culture in the US about working like crazy, mechanically for years. Obsessed with productivity until one day you can retire when you're old and start enjoying life. I've read this is starting to change with younger generations who are spending their money in meaningful and valuable experiences.
Yeah, I think it for sure is a more US thing. But, to some extent, I think everyone feels this way a bit.
By the way, your achievements are quite impressive so not everything is lost. Some highly successful people like you take sabbaticals to be present, re-energize, create experiences with family and friends and also to give back to the community, helping others be successful. I think a successful and intense life with those kind of breaks from time to time could make life more meaningful. Just my $.02
Oh, I don't feel like anything is "lost," per se. But I do want to start making even more significant changes.
I agree, because people from other places tend to see US as an example.
We can learn from the youngsters before they are co-opted by this affliction...
Excellent read. I have been feeling like this the past three years since my mother passed. It is indeed a reckoning to realize that you haven’t actually been living IN your life you’ve been just been checking tasks off a list. Glad that you found this awareness and believe many others will begin to awaken to this reality soon.
Thank you, Angela. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Great article, thanks Justin! You describe the reasons I fully burned myself out twice...
I feel that!
I can fully relate to it. That is why from next year I have decided to take a slow approach in writing. Here is the plan:
- Reducing 3-4 articles a week to 1 shortfrom article a week
- Going from 4 free newsletters a month to 2/month
- Writing an essay a month to learning to write well
- Shifting my focus completely from growing email list to enjoying writing and creating
Justin, it’s not often that I fully read through newsletters anymore, many of them get lost on me. And I’m so glad I clicked on yours this morning. Thank you for your vulnerability! I’m in recovery from methamphetamine and this is something that many addicts begin to learn when we get sober. I also began practicing Buddhism a few years ago, and it has changed my life. A great video that I think pairs perfectly with your writing is an interview with Micheal Singer on Mayim Bialiks Breakdown. It’s very easy to be present while listening, and perfectly describes how simply being AWARE of what you are doing, is the biggest way to improve your life. I love the way you described the small moments such as enjoying your food. I’ve found myself doing this with chores and it makes life so much better! Being aware of your thoughts is the next step, it’s incredible how many things are floating around up there and we can learn to sit with and observe them, and even challenge them when necessary. Thank you so much for this gentle reminder. I am actually facilitating a Buddhist Recovery meeting this evening, and I think I will use this as the topic. Hopefully you don’t mind if I reference your news letter - Thank you for the inspiration!!
Michael Singer's work is super powerful and effective...
Reference away and congrats on your sobriety! I’ll watch that video for sure.
I can totally relate to this, and it gets even worse when you add kids to the equation. More events and milestones that you would like to remember but get caught in the blur. Like you, I have some awareness but really haven't solved this potentially unsolvable problem. Three things I have found that help - 1) A mindfulness practice (journaling, meditation, etc) to really give time to reflect on experiences. 2) Intentionally add novelty into your 'agenda'. New things trigger our memory to hit record and make experiences more likely to be recalled with specificity. It doesn't have to be monumental, just something new or interesting. 3) A travel journal - my wife and I started a joint journal to capture our travel experiences instead of arguing later about the what/when/how of different vacations or experiences.
Journaling and meditation are hugely helpful
I love these ideas, Jon. I appreciate you sharing. A travel journal is right up my alley.
Justin, I appreciate you showing up authentically here. You named something specific that comes with running your own business - the paradox of freedom - I’m feeling that too as I build. This is the identity work a lot of us are doing through different phases of our lives.
Yep. We all want freedom, then we get it, and sometime it’s like…ok now what?
I recently ran into an old colleague and asked him if he wants to grab a coffee with me.
His answer was: 'Yes! Let's meet in 3 weeks. I've got my hands full until then!'
I hope I won't find myself in such a situation. Ever.
Yeah. That’s what I’m trying to avoid.
One of your best. Felt every line of this
Thank you, man. Appreciate it!
I think you wrote this one for me, Justin. Weekends become less about rest and more about checking things off the list. I'm glad I'm not alone and also glad that you're putting the challenge out there to actually experience your life, not achieve your way through it.
While reading this it felt like watching someone else live in my head. (I'm always doing one thing and racing to the next). Thank you for writing this. A lack of enjoying the journey I think will be a big regret for me too and I've been working on slowly shifting this. Your newsletter couldn't have been more well timed!
I'm so glad it resonated, Kendra. Thank you for reading it.
I think this is the best thing you've written. I've been reading your newsletter for a couple of years, and I've taken your courses, but this resonated with me in a new way. True. Real. Useful. Vulnerable. Love it, Man. Thanks for what you're doing.
Thank you, Shannon! Appreciate you being a reader for so long.
We all do it from time to time. It's difficult to be in the present since we have designed our mind to focus on the next thing or the big things in our life. However living in the present can be practiced. That's what mindfulness meditation practice teaches us. Sadly, people don't have time to practice it, so they keep running, one task after other. When the rent is due, living in the present becomes a little difficult.
My mother passed less than a week ago, and our family is still trying to come to terms with her passing. Last night I had blocked time to work on my next newsletter and a book chapter/course outline.
And our teenage daughter grabbed me and said, "We're playing a board game."
And so we did. And we talked. And reminisced about her grandmother.
No agenda.
This was the most precious moment I've had with her for weeks.
I worked on the outline this morning. Everything will be fine.
More importantly, I now have this incredible connection, memory, and experience that I'll treasure forever.
Mike, I'm so sorry to hear that. Jennifer and I send our condolences. I'm so glad to hear you leaned into that moment and now have this amazing memory. Kudos to you, Mike.
I've read this, reread it -- and came back to read it again. Such a great piece, Justin.
I personally relate to a lot of this. One thing that I've noticed that seems to help (but still is no magic pill), is to take time at the end of the week (or even the day) and record a memorable event. I'm a Bullet Journal-er, so part of this is a Monthly listed "calendar" that I simply write memorable events in - but only after they've happened. The practice itself helps ground me and slow me down. And those things, without exception, are never the most "urgent" thing to get done on a daily basis. It's helped me to focus less on filling in the boxes, and more on living more in the present. But again, isn't any magical pill that's solved all the issues.