I spend a lot of time looking backward. I reminisce about better days. When I felt things were simpler. When I was younger. When my career and life were a blank canvas in front of me...
Thank you for this reflection. When my girls were 5, 3, and 1, they orbited around my sun. Now, at 25, 23, 22, they’re off with their own things to do. Do I long for the good old days, or live for the grandmother stage? Or, just maybe, today is the greatest age. Thank you for the Monday muse & chat page. 💌
I'm in the thick of it right now with three children (two girls and one boy ages 14, 11, and 9, respectively.) So this post from you truly resonates! Thanks so much for sharing, Amanda! I truly want to embrace these moments -- albeit extremely chaotic and trying at times -- because I know they'll stick with me for the rest of my life. And at the end of the day, time with our children is always "pouring out". What really matters are the investments that we "pour in" to our children. I truly want to be more intentional about that moving forward.
It is hard. Parenting is not efficient. It isn’t meant to be. A lot of those days, everyone expects something of you, and no one is taking care of you, so it is natural to tune out. IT is hard to feel like you’re giving 100% to work and family ever. Cheers- 💌
I always think of this quote when talking about the good old days:
“Remember the days when you prayed for what you have now.”
We as humans easily forget. We always strive for more. Our goalposts keep moving.
Seeing the thought of your 80 year old neighbor opens my mind to the reality that even when you’re at the end of your life, you keep looking back for better days.
We have all been told that life goes by fast, but somehow no one seems to believe this will apply to them...until we look back and wonder where did the time go?
This reminds me of an old story with the punch line: "It's not how good the good times are, but how bad the bad times are that make the difference."
We all want the good times because they are enjoyable and easy.
But it is the bad times that build the character and require us to develop patience, resilience, and will motivate us to try new things when what we had been doing in our comfort zone no longer brings the same results.
It is human nature to want life to deal us a hand of cards of success and happiness but hard times come for everyone sooner or later, it is inevitable we will need to face them and success comes from overcoming the obstacle and looking back at the struggle.
What an insightful response, David. I sure know that life is flying by over here...I feel like just yesterday I was 21. Blinked and I'm almost 44. But, luckily, there have been far more good times than bad, and I feel fortunate about that.
Life appears to go by fast because we are always in a hurry. For us everything is urgent and important. The day we learn to slowdown will be the day we will regain the old sweet momentum of life.
Your message made me think of a quote I saw the other day - not sure the source - it went something like this...
"The single greatest skill you can develop is the ability to be in a great mood in the absence of things to be in a great mood about. If you can be in a bad mood for no reason, you might as well be in a good mood for no reason"
Our outlook on life is a choice we make every day, regardless of our circumstances.
An exercise this reminds me of that I need to do again- maybe I’ll do it now if I can get out of my own way.
Write down:
1. 3 things you’re grateful for
2. The hardest challenge in your life right now
3. What’s great about this?
Writing three things you’re grateful for gets the appreciation engine started. Then examine your biggest hardship.
Then ask what’s great about this challenge- what’s good about it? What benefits may come from this?
I’ve found the results pretty immediate and profound. Proves you can be grateful no matter what difficulties you’re having now, regardless of how bad the storm is.
You may be reminded of other hard times you’ve been through- and the positives that came from them.
Appreciation grows the more you use it. Writing this for me as a reminder.
Beautiful! I've always made it a point to ask my children to begin and end their day by taking a hefty dose of "Vitamin G", which is gratitude. It's so easy to find "the bad"; why not choose to find "the good" and express gratitude and thanks for that? It truly shapes a better attitude and mindset for the day ahead and the day that just transpired.
Lordy this was the messaging I needed to hear today. In the throes of high school graduation for my only son, the weekend has been spent deep in old videos and photos, sobbing/crying/weeping, longing for the old cuddles and regretting how much time I spent working and wishing he would stop needing me.
Thank you for this extremely timely reminder that truly all we have is right now. And to be kinder to myself in it.
That’s gas. I was only thinking about the very same thing this weekend. I watched my teen heading out wearing a jacket I had given her and she looked absolutely gorgeous in it, full of sass and personality. Funny thing I never felt like that wearing it. Never gave myself the permission. It really struck me how we often miss the good moments in life when we’re too busy criticising ourselves or waiting for something to be different. Would it be a great thing to learn early in life to appreciate the now.
My mom is just like this. She constantly worries about the future and mourns the past. She's rarely in the moment.
Growing up around that kind of melancholy, I think I subconsciously started searching for a different way to experience life - something more grounded in the present.
That’s what my morning gratitude practice does for me. It’s a simple daily reminder to pay attention to the here and now.
Maybe that’s part of what I love about racing, too - it demands pure presence. You can’t be anywhere else.
Looking back on my life at 54, I can honestly say I have zero regrets.
Sorry to hear about your back, Justin. I’ve been a personal trainer for 26 years and have worked with a lot of people managing chronic pain. If you ever want to talk, I’m happy to help however I can.
Felt this one. Funny thing, the other day a friend - an ex-colleague - and I were reminiscing about a job 12 years ago and how it had the best culture, the best team, and how everything was just right. The truth is 12 years ago we hated that job and left. Lol. The mind plays tricks. Enjoy the moment before it becomes the past that you loved.
I love this reminder, Justin. Feels like a meditation on the fact that all we ever really have is the present moment. I'm grateful for my health, my relationship, my apartment in BK, and having my family nearby.
Having owned a senior home care franchise for 10 years and having so many conversations with people in their 80s, 90s, and even 100s, I can tell you the good old days ARE now. If you want to truly be happy, enjoy today and remember you only get one life so live it everyday!
Yes! Appreciating every moment, every day is so important. I often get caught up in my current struggles being a stay at home mom and solopreneur writer. Constantly tired, cleaning up messes, late nights with the baby, and doing things with my older son. Then squeezing in work during Naptime and late at night when everyone is asleep. I'm sure in 10 years I'll miss it.
As I turn 63 soon I have never felt more alive and motivated to create new experiences and to live in the moment. You realize the life train keeps moving with or without you… my wife and I love the new experiences and stories we are creating. I created a list of things I used to say “I wish one day blah blah” and converting them in to “guess what I just did”… life is way more fun!!
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately as health diagnoses have spurred my parents and my in-laws to want to spend more time with us. They want to come visit more and want us to come visit more, which is equal parts beautiful and chaotic given the “thick of it” parenting period we are in with our 11 and 12 year-old.
Ex: Two years ago I had a conversation with my FIL about retirement, which he couldn’t see himself ever enjoying because of a long list of reasons he patiently explained. He’s since had a minor stroke and is now undergoing chemotherapy for a survivable blood issue. He’s hoping to be well enough to make a cross-country trip to see his kids in a few months.
It’s a powerful wake up call for my husband and I that we only get this one window with our own kids, and then it closes forever. They’re going to become adults with their own lives, we’ll have new problems and challenges. So while it can be overwhelming in the moments, it feels like these are probably the golden years.
This revelation is causing me to remodel my life and scale back on what’s nice but not that important for now. That stuff (or a version of it) will still be there in 10 years, but my kids will have moved on.
The best life strategy is treating today as valuable as tomorrow.
I've watched clients delay life for decades chasing "enough," only to realize too late they sacrificed their prime years. The sweet spot is building the future while still showing up for the life happening right now.
Thank you for this reflection. When my girls were 5, 3, and 1, they orbited around my sun. Now, at 25, 23, 22, they’re off with their own things to do. Do I long for the good old days, or live for the grandmother stage? Or, just maybe, today is the greatest age. Thank you for the Monday muse & chat page. 💌
You're welcome. Thanks for sharing your experience, Amanda!
I'm in the thick of it right now with three children (two girls and one boy ages 14, 11, and 9, respectively.) So this post from you truly resonates! Thanks so much for sharing, Amanda! I truly want to embrace these moments -- albeit extremely chaotic and trying at times -- because I know they'll stick with me for the rest of my life. And at the end of the day, time with our children is always "pouring out". What really matters are the investments that we "pour in" to our children. I truly want to be more intentional about that moving forward.
Thanks again for sharing, Amanda!
It is hard. Parenting is not efficient. It isn’t meant to be. A lot of those days, everyone expects something of you, and no one is taking care of you, so it is natural to tune out. IT is hard to feel like you’re giving 100% to work and family ever. Cheers- 💌
I always think of this quote when talking about the good old days:
“Remember the days when you prayed for what you have now.”
We as humans easily forget. We always strive for more. Our goalposts keep moving.
Seeing the thought of your 80 year old neighbor opens my mind to the reality that even when you’re at the end of your life, you keep looking back for better days.
It’s true. He’s a wise old owl too. Really struck me when he said it.
We have all been told that life goes by fast, but somehow no one seems to believe this will apply to them...until we look back and wonder where did the time go?
This reminds me of an old story with the punch line: "It's not how good the good times are, but how bad the bad times are that make the difference."
We all want the good times because they are enjoyable and easy.
But it is the bad times that build the character and require us to develop patience, resilience, and will motivate us to try new things when what we had been doing in our comfort zone no longer brings the same results.
It is human nature to want life to deal us a hand of cards of success and happiness but hard times come for everyone sooner or later, it is inevitable we will need to face them and success comes from overcoming the obstacle and looking back at the struggle.
What an insightful response, David. I sure know that life is flying by over here...I feel like just yesterday I was 21. Blinked and I'm almost 44. But, luckily, there have been far more good times than bad, and I feel fortunate about that.
Life appears to go by fast because we are always in a hurry. For us everything is urgent and important. The day we learn to slowdown will be the day we will regain the old sweet momentum of life.
Your message made me think of a quote I saw the other day - not sure the source - it went something like this...
"The single greatest skill you can develop is the ability to be in a great mood in the absence of things to be in a great mood about. If you can be in a bad mood for no reason, you might as well be in a good mood for no reason"
Our outlook on life is a choice we make every day, regardless of our circumstances.
Love that, David. Thanks for sharing.
An exercise this reminds me of that I need to do again- maybe I’ll do it now if I can get out of my own way.
Write down:
1. 3 things you’re grateful for
2. The hardest challenge in your life right now
3. What’s great about this?
Writing three things you’re grateful for gets the appreciation engine started. Then examine your biggest hardship.
Then ask what’s great about this challenge- what’s good about it? What benefits may come from this?
I’ve found the results pretty immediate and profound. Proves you can be grateful no matter what difficulties you’re having now, regardless of how bad the storm is.
You may be reminded of other hard times you’ve been through- and the positives that came from them.
Appreciation grows the more you use it. Writing this for me as a reminder.
This is an awesome exercise, Christopher. I think I’ll give this a shot today.
Beautiful! I've always made it a point to ask my children to begin and end their day by taking a hefty dose of "Vitamin G", which is gratitude. It's so easy to find "the bad"; why not choose to find "the good" and express gratitude and thanks for that? It truly shapes a better attitude and mindset for the day ahead and the day that just transpired.
Lordy this was the messaging I needed to hear today. In the throes of high school graduation for my only son, the weekend has been spent deep in old videos and photos, sobbing/crying/weeping, longing for the old cuddles and regretting how much time I spent working and wishing he would stop needing me.
Thank you for this extremely timely reminder that truly all we have is right now. And to be kinder to myself in it.
What a wonderful comment, Jen. So glad it resonated with you. Appreciate you reading it.
That’s gas. I was only thinking about the very same thing this weekend. I watched my teen heading out wearing a jacket I had given her and she looked absolutely gorgeous in it, full of sass and personality. Funny thing I never felt like that wearing it. Never gave myself the permission. It really struck me how we often miss the good moments in life when we’re too busy criticising ourselves or waiting for something to be different. Would it be a great thing to learn early in life to appreciate the now.
Such an important take, Catherine. My wife and I talk about this a lot. How we don’t give ourselves that permission.
My mom is just like this. She constantly worries about the future and mourns the past. She's rarely in the moment.
Growing up around that kind of melancholy, I think I subconsciously started searching for a different way to experience life - something more grounded in the present.
That’s what my morning gratitude practice does for me. It’s a simple daily reminder to pay attention to the here and now.
Maybe that’s part of what I love about racing, too - it demands pure presence. You can’t be anywhere else.
Looking back on my life at 54, I can honestly say I have zero regrets.
The only thing I miss are healthy knees.
Racing? That's so cool, Steven. I can imagine that requires constant focus on the present. I'm the same as you with knees, just with my back lol.
Sorry to hear about your back, Justin. I’ve been a personal trainer for 26 years and have worked with a lot of people managing chronic pain. If you ever want to talk, I’m happy to help however I can.
Felt this one. Funny thing, the other day a friend - an ex-colleague - and I were reminiscing about a job 12 years ago and how it had the best culture, the best team, and how everything was just right. The truth is 12 years ago we hated that job and left. Lol. The mind plays tricks. Enjoy the moment before it becomes the past that you loved.
Funny how that works huh?
I love this reminder, Justin. Feels like a meditation on the fact that all we ever really have is the present moment. I'm grateful for my health, my relationship, my apartment in BK, and having my family nearby.
Love that, Ben. Feeling grateful myself today.
Having owned a senior home care franchise for 10 years and having so many conversations with people in their 80s, 90s, and even 100s, I can tell you the good old days ARE now. If you want to truly be happy, enjoy today and remember you only get one life so live it everyday!
Yes! Appreciating every moment, every day is so important. I often get caught up in my current struggles being a stay at home mom and solopreneur writer. Constantly tired, cleaning up messes, late nights with the baby, and doing things with my older son. Then squeezing in work during Naptime and late at night when everyone is asleep. I'm sure in 10 years I'll miss it.
It’s weird how often we miss the magic while we’re living it. Thanks for the gentle nudge to look around and appreciate now.
As I turn 63 soon I have never felt more alive and motivated to create new experiences and to live in the moment. You realize the life train keeps moving with or without you… my wife and I love the new experiences and stories we are creating. I created a list of things I used to say “I wish one day blah blah” and converting them in to “guess what I just did”… life is way more fun!!
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately as health diagnoses have spurred my parents and my in-laws to want to spend more time with us. They want to come visit more and want us to come visit more, which is equal parts beautiful and chaotic given the “thick of it” parenting period we are in with our 11 and 12 year-old.
Ex: Two years ago I had a conversation with my FIL about retirement, which he couldn’t see himself ever enjoying because of a long list of reasons he patiently explained. He’s since had a minor stroke and is now undergoing chemotherapy for a survivable blood issue. He’s hoping to be well enough to make a cross-country trip to see his kids in a few months.
It’s a powerful wake up call for my husband and I that we only get this one window with our own kids, and then it closes forever. They’re going to become adults with their own lives, we’ll have new problems and challenges. So while it can be overwhelming in the moments, it feels like these are probably the golden years.
This revelation is causing me to remodel my life and scale back on what’s nice but not that important for now. That stuff (or a version of it) will still be there in 10 years, but my kids will have moved on.
This resonates, Justin.
The best life strategy is treating today as valuable as tomorrow.
I've watched clients delay life for decades chasing "enough," only to realize too late they sacrificed their prime years. The sweet spot is building the future while still showing up for the life happening right now.