The dangerous art of opting out.

Welcome to issue #025 of Unsubscribe. Each week, I send two essays that help you step off the default path to build a life you love, supported by work you enjoy. If you need support on your entrepreneurial journey, join our network of over 900 entrepreneurs. You’ll instantly join our group chat, weekly live Q&As, monthly workshops, and private in-person events.

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People think wanting a good life means wanting everything.

The biggest house, fanciest car, most prestigious job, and more money than you could ever spend.

But I think they've got it backward. I want a very different kind of life.

I want to work three or four hours a day on things that matter to me. Make enough money to feel safe about my family's future. Help people solve real problems. Have time to read books that make me think. Go for long walks. Cook with my wife without feeling rushed. Hit the gym every single day. And travel somewhere new whenever we feel like it.

I also want to skip meetings that accomplish nothing, avoid the projects that don't interest me, and say no to opportunities that sound impressive but feel miserable to work on.

When I tell people this, they act like I'm dangerous. Their discomfort reveals something interesting about how we've been trained to think about success. The responses generally fall into two groups:

The ambitious group (usually high-achievers who measure life in achievements): “That's not the right way to live. You need to be more useful and strive for more.”

The pessimistic group (usually people who've given up before trying): “Good luck with that. It's so privileged to think you could build a life like that.”

Same vision. Completely opposite reactions.

I think both groups are looking at life through someone else's lens. The ambitious ones see my outlook as settling for less. The pessimistic ones see it as asking for too much.

But neither group is actually listening to what I'm saying. They're too busy defending their own choices to hear mine. Because if I'm right, the ambitious group might have to face the idea that they've been running the wrong race. And the pessimists are faced with the idea that this life is, in fact, possible.

Nothing threatens people more than someone who chooses differently and seems content with that choice.

When you're happy with something different, you become living proof that the endless hustle might be pointless. And you challenge the stories people tell themselves about why they can't have what they want.

Three focused hours of meaningful work beat eight hours of busywork every time. My health, my relationships, and my curiosity are things I'd rather spend the rest of my day on.

Most people work to buy stuff they don't need because they never figured out what would actually make them happy. They chase other people's definitions of success instead of discovering their own. Then they wonder why they feel empty once they get everything that was supposed to fulfill them. When you don't know what you want, you end up wanting what everyone else wants. And that never ends well.

A few years ago, I wrote down what I wanted my ordinary Monday to look like. The exercise was fun, and the results were pretty simple.

I'd have a few cups of great coffee at 6:00 a.m., then head to the gym around 8:30 a.m. I'd come home, shower, and make a healthy lunch with my wife at 11:00 a.m. Once those important personal things were done, only then would I get to work. So, that meant Noon to 3:00 p.m. was my deep work time. After that? Whatever I felt like doing.

When I was done, I stared at the little schedule I put together and decided that was it.

A perfect Monday.

Once you know what your ideal ordinary day looks like, you can start building toward it. You might discover you need less than you've been sold. You might find that wanting a good life has nothing to do with wanting everything, but simply wanting the right things.

Maybe the good life is knowing exactly what you want.

And having the courage to say no to everything else.

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What’s your take on today’s topic? Do you agree, disagree, or is there something I missed?

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