I feel this hard... I moved to Lisbon from NYC 19 months ago and without even realizing it was always operating in transaction mode. "Should I go to this event because this person will be there... even though I don't want too." I would buy piles of business books not for pleasure but from a place of "behind angst." I'm not saying living in Lisbon has erased all of this....not at all...BUT the collective energy around me is different. My mornings are naturally all open now because the US isn't waking up until about noon my time. SO now I MIGHT just read for pleasure. Meet someone for a beach walk not because he or she can help my business or be "a contact" but just because it's fun to meet interesting people. I'm starting to retrain my whole POV. Also loving your Inner Circle... but now I'm like **with angst.. "DO I NEED TO MOVE TO SUBSTACK?!" GAH:)
I feel all of this very deeply, Patrice. Jennifer and I have contemplated moving to Spain for a bit for many of the reasons you outline here. I especially love being up before folks in the US so I feel a bit more at ease in the mornings. So glad to have you inside of The Inner Circle. Don't worry about whether or not to write on Substack. Just be aware that it exists, and if you feel compelled, start.
Two of our good friends moved to Valencia from Brooklyn and Madrid from Miami in the past few years. I know you have a massive network but always happy to share with you and Jennifer a real-life perspective on 2 people (me and my husband) who did this move recently. We didn't consider Spain as they didn't have the same visa programs at the time (2023) but they've expanded their digital nomad pathways a lot since then. It's been the best thing we have ever done (and the best thing for my 3 kids). Thanks for removing a little bit of angst for me!
I moved to the UK in 2009 for a PhD and never looked back. European life is just so different and better in so many ways. And while the UK has many issues right now, it's the collective culture and worldview lens that is about the collective. I love Portugal and Spain (have done a little bit of the Camino walk) and life is slower, reflective and full of vibrant culture. Even though my family are still in the states I'll never move back. My health and mental awareness has experiences a better way of life here.
Ben! Where in NY? I was in cobble hill/Carrol Gardens the majority of my time there.. Lisbon is pretty amazing.. SO MUCH going on here. Huge tech scene... lots of entreprenuers, people coming here looking for a better quality of life.. I pay $4 MAX to uber pretty much anywhere in the city... amazing food, great nightlife.. by beaches, mountains, a few hours drive if you want to head to Spain for the weekend.. I'm not sugar coating as I actually fell into a mini depression on moving here but I'm out the other side.. Because I'm a video storytelling psychopath I made a video about my move if you don't want these 2 min of your life back!
Loved your video, Patrice! A good friend is from the Azores and our close-knit crew of family friends fantasizes about moving to Lisbon after the kids go off to college (in 6 years). Though I’m originally from Indonesia, so also consider Jakarta/Bali. Am still in hard-charging Silicon Valley, but will be nice to slow down in the near future and enjoy the “geo-arbitrage.” Glad to see you’ve enjoyed the shift. Cheers, -Kris
A terrific insight. Yes I went through everything you did. This is normal and so much a part of the exploration of self. Resilience. Change. Courage. But you did it with family in tow (I did it alone and it was so much more difficult not having that built in support system). So welcome to the other side! Thrive and live your best life.
Definitely. You have to run on it for a long time before you realize there's no finish line ahead. I've been running on it since about age 28. So that makes it nearly 16 years...
I feel this too Wayne. Like you can't know what it feels like to get off the treadmill until you get off the treadmill. You have to know that there's no end before you can decide you want to stop chasing the end. I think this is where a lot of people get stuck, they don't even realize that there is no end. They just keep chasing and chasing until it's too late.
That's how I felt. I started thinking about doing my own thing back in 2018, but I got a great job, and then I got promoted, and then I got more responsibility, and then I got more money, and everything was great. My career trajectory was on fire, but there was no end to it. There was no, "I'm good with where I am," and I was getting farther and farther away from where I wanted to be.
Fortunately, external changes (a new boss I didn't vibe with) woke me up and put me back on the path I wanted to go. And fortunately, I had been writing and posting and developing my brand on the side all those years while I was figuring this out.
So, to anyone who wants to get off the treadmill, but doesn't know where to stop, it's ok. Start creating what you want to create and at some point in the future, life will give you a sign to jump off. Just don't ignore the sign.
I have accepted the fact that there will be treadmill moments/seasons. If I want to finally finish that course, treadmill time is needed in the short term. SHORT-TERM.
Knew I hated treadmills for a reason. It’s interesting because I left corporate four years ago on a whim and started my own law firm (to see if I could do it). Then I did it and it’s doing well and gets only slightly better each year, I haven’t had big swings in revenue, but it’s been sustainable and I’ve gradually grown my team, yet still feel like I’m not where I want to be professionally and personally. Entrepreneurship has cracked open so much of my self discovery journey so I am so thrilled to be in the Inner Circle here to hopefully build the life I’m searching for. Thank you!
The hedonic treadmill that never ends. This past year I found myself again in the hustle and grind by working with a friend that was “hustling and grinding.” Honestly, my journey has been an absolute mess. I have the desire to write, have an online presence, and stay consistent with my newsletter, but my activities usually lead me to burnout. Somehow I commit to something, and I find myself with that overachievement mentality to go “all-in.”
Writing this helps me think of what going “all-in” actually means for me. I don’t want to be in this hedonic treadmill, but actually jump into something of purpose and fulfillment.
This post reminds me of Maslow's hierarchy of needs where a person is at stage 5 representing the desire to become the best version of oneself and reach one's full potential which is where, I think, most people want to be.
But there are 4 other levels that must be satisfied before reaching this stage and it can be extremely difficult to jump straight to "self-actualization" while totally ignoring the other 4 stages.
Having a strong foundation, which involves doing things we don't necessarily enjoy doing like starting a 9 to 5 career at the bottom of the ladder, building a financial base so we are not constantly living on the edge, and grinding (for a period of time) to give ourselves a long enough runway to make it to stage 5 is something people don't like to talk about.
The flip side is, people forget that life is short and never ask themselves the question "am I really happy?" which causes many to just keep doing what they are doing and never being satisfied which is the hedonic treadmill (the term I prefer is the Hedonic Hamster-wheel).
Much of the problem relates to the issue of being "too busy" and this busyness keeps us from being a fly on the wall and observing the hamster running in their wheel but not getting anywhere.
The answer is to schedule time to get away, take time away from the normal daily routine and go somewhere quiet where you can think about where you are today, how far you have come, and where you need to make course corrections so you don't end up at a destination that you never wanted to be in the first place.
"I feel behind." is the dominant feeling most days. I feel that right now. It feels like a lot of pressure.
All the years spent on the hedonic treadmill, regardless of the amount of success, is one thing, but the motivations that got me to join Unsubscribe and then reading people's intros and how much ahead they are and how long it takes is adding the pressure. I feel "it's too late for me" to unsubscribe. Hopelessness and helplessness switch back and forth from reality and illusion.
It feels I am still on the same treadmill or have replaced it with a new one.
I have no point to make here. I feel the pressure. So I thought to write.
Beautiful that you shared your raw thoughts on this... When I start to feel that pressure, I know it's time to hit pause. I am doing this because I am passionate about it, not to cause more stress in my life. I pause. I go back to my "why" and it kicks my butt back into reality.
I shifted gears back when my daughter was born. Took it a little slower, didn't chase the better job opportunity. Instead travelled a little less, climbed the ladder a little slower. Main goal was to spend time with the family.
But over the years I got back into it, just to be hit with the realisation that all that "Security" could be gone in an instant. Now wondering what my life would look like if I had followed thru with my first Youtube project in 2015 and my podcast ideas in 2016 / 2022... 🤷♂️🤦♂️
I wonder about a lot of decisions in my past as well, but (fortunately or unfortunately) I can’t go back and change them now…so, my new focus is choosing things I’m excited about so I don’t have the regret again in 10 years or so.
I loved it. But at some point, it became like most other things done consistently — work. And since the platform has changed so much, I no longer enjoy it.
I'm regularly checking in with myself about whether I'm present and enjoying the process because I didn't start this creative pursuit to get stressed. And the end-of-day reflection "how do I feel about today?" helps.
If I've connected with others, stayed true to who I am, created something, and moved my body in nature, I'm usually good. The "high achieving" takes in all of me, not just work.
Love this pivot you've made, Justin. Looking forward to the inner circle.
Well said Justin. I killed my 6 figure business in December because I wasn’t enjoying the monthly grind “starting from zero” anymore. I found my “Ikigai” and doubled down on it. I work less now, I enjoy it more and the monthly numbers are climbing back as a result.
Getting off the treadmill is something most everybody can relate to. So we often change course and take a different path - that may or may not work out any differently. To me what Unsubscribe represents is an opportunity to drill down deeper into who we truly are as individuals and reinvent ourselves in ways that requires we continue to remind ourselves it is actually possible. One sign of confirmation in this direction is that more and more of our daily actions become aligned in ways that eliminate separate silos in our world that often leave us conflicted, and no different than we were in the past. There's something amazing about building a life in which all of our activities draft off of each other in collective fulfillment. It is possible to eagerly look forward to Monday morning, or simply treat any day or time as such – its not a place to get to but a place to come from. Thanks for reminding us of this Justin - this can be the spark that reminds us all who we really are, before a job title assigns it to us....
With toddler girls, this hit home. It’s the whole reason I’m here actually.
Is it possible to grow a business that’s makes a lot of money to create the time and financial freedom…without giving up all your time and losing that very freedom?
I’m about to make my first employee hire for my business (operations), as I can’t grow the business anymore without them. Revenue (and income for my family) has been dropping steadily for a year because I’ve been burned out trying to do it all. But I’m terrified that bringing in an employee could mean trapping me even more. 😱 I want to make more art, travel more, and be with my family. So I’m trying to hire so we can scale so I can work less. Is that even possible?
I would say that it's definitely possible, Daniel. My only suggestion would be to double-check that the bottleneck preventing your business growth and projected scalability is directly attributable to you being alone and unable to do more of the work. Because if your inability to scale is directly tied to that bottleneck, then yes, you can "Buy Back Your Time" by offloading some of the work. Just be very selective in your hiring process and try to do your best to hire someone who you truly believe will (a) be better than you at completing the offloaded work and (b) is highly likely to bring in more revenue than he/she costs.
That is great advice Justin. Appreciate that. My wife asked me something similar this morning—“will there be enough for them to do outside of launch periods to drive revenue?”. And I will need to hone in on this further. I definitely think so. But I need more clarity here. Thanks!
If you're a one-man-show right now, then I'm certain you have plenty to offload.
Perhaps spending a week or two mapping everything out top-to-bottom while quantifying the amount of time each activity takes you and then qualifying the level of complexity will help you better decide on who to hire, which skillsets they'll need, whether they need to be full-time/part-time/freelance consultant/etc.
That’s why is so important to define your ‚enough’ and stick with that definition.
I caught myself thinking that if someone told me when I was 18yrs old that I would be where I am now, I would be thrilled. Funny how the more we have the more we want. Perspective changes depending where we are…..
Demands are growing and growing and once we touch the luxury we don’t want to let it go but we just want more. And invisible money addiction keeps us jumping on that treadmill everyday….
It’s not easy to stop, but I feel like I have made a huge progress over the last couple of year with my minders!
Oh boy this is a good one. I remember the first time I got a $10K raise. Over the moon for about a week. Then started plotting how to get more.
Spot on! It's a ladder with endless rungs...
Been there!
I feel this hard... I moved to Lisbon from NYC 19 months ago and without even realizing it was always operating in transaction mode. "Should I go to this event because this person will be there... even though I don't want too." I would buy piles of business books not for pleasure but from a place of "behind angst." I'm not saying living in Lisbon has erased all of this....not at all...BUT the collective energy around me is different. My mornings are naturally all open now because the US isn't waking up until about noon my time. SO now I MIGHT just read for pleasure. Meet someone for a beach walk not because he or she can help my business or be "a contact" but just because it's fun to meet interesting people. I'm starting to retrain my whole POV. Also loving your Inner Circle... but now I'm like **with angst.. "DO I NEED TO MOVE TO SUBSTACK?!" GAH:)
I feel all of this very deeply, Patrice. Jennifer and I have contemplated moving to Spain for a bit for many of the reasons you outline here. I especially love being up before folks in the US so I feel a bit more at ease in the mornings. So glad to have you inside of The Inner Circle. Don't worry about whether or not to write on Substack. Just be aware that it exists, and if you feel compelled, start.
Two of our good friends moved to Valencia from Brooklyn and Madrid from Miami in the past few years. I know you have a massive network but always happy to share with you and Jennifer a real-life perspective on 2 people (me and my husband) who did this move recently. We didn't consider Spain as they didn't have the same visa programs at the time (2023) but they've expanded their digital nomad pathways a lot since then. It's been the best thing we have ever done (and the best thing for my 3 kids). Thanks for removing a little bit of angst for me!
I moved to the UK in 2009 for a PhD and never looked back. European life is just so different and better in so many ways. And while the UK has many issues right now, it's the collective culture and worldview lens that is about the collective. I love Portugal and Spain (have done a little bit of the Camino walk) and life is slower, reflective and full of vibrant culture. Even though my family are still in the states I'll never move back. My health and mental awareness has experiences a better way of life here.
Justin - Spain is wonderful. But Portugal? On another level. But maybe Im biased.
The interesting thing about being an emigrant is you are a foreigner in your home country and you are a foreigner in your country of choice.
I love Portugal. Lisbon is one of my favorite places to join. Where are you located?
I am from Porto but Ive been in London for 25 years.
I love this, Patrice. What a leap you made! What have you loved most about Lisbon so far? (I am also in NYC:))
Ben! Where in NY? I was in cobble hill/Carrol Gardens the majority of my time there.. Lisbon is pretty amazing.. SO MUCH going on here. Huge tech scene... lots of entreprenuers, people coming here looking for a better quality of life.. I pay $4 MAX to uber pretty much anywhere in the city... amazing food, great nightlife.. by beaches, mountains, a few hours drive if you want to head to Spain for the weekend.. I'm not sugar coating as I actually fell into a mini depression on moving here but I'm out the other side.. Because I'm a video storytelling psychopath I made a video about my move if you don't want these 2 min of your life back!
https://www.instagram.com/p/C8UTsmNtInF/
Loved your video, Patrice! A good friend is from the Azores and our close-knit crew of family friends fantasizes about moving to Lisbon after the kids go off to college (in 6 years). Though I’m originally from Indonesia, so also consider Jakarta/Bali. Am still in hard-charging Silicon Valley, but will be nice to slow down in the near future and enjoy the “geo-arbitrage.” Glad to see you’ve enjoyed the shift. Cheers, -Kris
A terrific insight. Yes I went through everything you did. This is normal and so much a part of the exploration of self. Resilience. Change. Courage. But you did it with family in tow (I did it alone and it was so much more difficult not having that built in support system). So welcome to the other side! Thrive and live your best life.
I will check it out, Patrice! I am in Crown Heights (grew up in Westchester, have lived in NYC for 10 of the past 12 years). Small world!
And yes, I've heard a ton about Lisbon. My Spanish teacher is from and lives there and talks about the growing expat scene.
I love the video!!!
Justin - do you feel being on that hedonic treadmill was a necessary part of your story to enable you to be as reflective as this today?
I ask not to be contrarian, but because I feel like that treadmill is actually a requirement for me short term…
I also recognise it’s never-ending as you said, if you don’t get off when you say you will.
I guess there are seasons, but I feel there almost has to be a treadmill season so you can internally feel the difference when you step off?
Definitely. You have to run on it for a long time before you realize there's no finish line ahead. I've been running on it since about age 28. So that makes it nearly 16 years...
I feel this too Wayne. Like you can't know what it feels like to get off the treadmill until you get off the treadmill. You have to know that there's no end before you can decide you want to stop chasing the end. I think this is where a lot of people get stuck, they don't even realize that there is no end. They just keep chasing and chasing until it's too late.
That's how I felt. I started thinking about doing my own thing back in 2018, but I got a great job, and then I got promoted, and then I got more responsibility, and then I got more money, and everything was great. My career trajectory was on fire, but there was no end to it. There was no, "I'm good with where I am," and I was getting farther and farther away from where I wanted to be.
Fortunately, external changes (a new boss I didn't vibe with) woke me up and put me back on the path I wanted to go. And fortunately, I had been writing and posting and developing my brand on the side all those years while I was figuring this out.
So, to anyone who wants to get off the treadmill, but doesn't know where to stop, it's ok. Start creating what you want to create and at some point in the future, life will give you a sign to jump off. Just don't ignore the sign.
I have accepted the fact that there will be treadmill moments/seasons. If I want to finally finish that course, treadmill time is needed in the short term. SHORT-TERM.
Knew I hated treadmills for a reason. It’s interesting because I left corporate four years ago on a whim and started my own law firm (to see if I could do it). Then I did it and it’s doing well and gets only slightly better each year, I haven’t had big swings in revenue, but it’s been sustainable and I’ve gradually grown my team, yet still feel like I’m not where I want to be professionally and personally. Entrepreneurship has cracked open so much of my self discovery journey so I am so thrilled to be in the Inner Circle here to hopefully build the life I’m searching for. Thank you!
What a story. I’m so glad to have you here with us as well, Ruma. Welcome aboard and looking fwd to getting to know you.
The hedonic treadmill that never ends. This past year I found myself again in the hustle and grind by working with a friend that was “hustling and grinding.” Honestly, my journey has been an absolute mess. I have the desire to write, have an online presence, and stay consistent with my newsletter, but my activities usually lead me to burnout. Somehow I commit to something, and I find myself with that overachievement mentality to go “all-in.”
Writing this helps me think of what going “all-in” actually means for me. I don’t want to be in this hedonic treadmill, but actually jump into something of purpose and fulfillment.
That was the intention of the article, so I’m glad it resonated. I mostly wrote it for myself and figured other folks might have the same issues.
Keep thinking out loud, My Friend! It's how soooooo many of us feel! :-)
I feel you Jose... I just can't do the hustle anymore. I need joy, not stress.
This is a very new Justin that I like to see! 💙
I'm glad to hear it, Anastasia. Thanks for recognizing it.
Looking forward to reading the next issue!
You articulated something profound here, Justin.
Many of us trade today's peace for tomorrow's promises. I've watched clients double their income only to feel emptier.
True wealth isn't just numbers in accounts—it's building a life you don't need to escape from.
This post reminds me of Maslow's hierarchy of needs where a person is at stage 5 representing the desire to become the best version of oneself and reach one's full potential which is where, I think, most people want to be.
But there are 4 other levels that must be satisfied before reaching this stage and it can be extremely difficult to jump straight to "self-actualization" while totally ignoring the other 4 stages.
Having a strong foundation, which involves doing things we don't necessarily enjoy doing like starting a 9 to 5 career at the bottom of the ladder, building a financial base so we are not constantly living on the edge, and grinding (for a period of time) to give ourselves a long enough runway to make it to stage 5 is something people don't like to talk about.
The flip side is, people forget that life is short and never ask themselves the question "am I really happy?" which causes many to just keep doing what they are doing and never being satisfied which is the hedonic treadmill (the term I prefer is the Hedonic Hamster-wheel).
Much of the problem relates to the issue of being "too busy" and this busyness keeps us from being a fly on the wall and observing the hamster running in their wheel but not getting anywhere.
The answer is to schedule time to get away, take time away from the normal daily routine and go somewhere quiet where you can think about where you are today, how far you have come, and where you need to make course corrections so you don't end up at a destination that you never wanted to be in the first place.
"I feel behind." is the dominant feeling most days. I feel that right now. It feels like a lot of pressure.
All the years spent on the hedonic treadmill, regardless of the amount of success, is one thing, but the motivations that got me to join Unsubscribe and then reading people's intros and how much ahead they are and how long it takes is adding the pressure. I feel "it's too late for me" to unsubscribe. Hopelessness and helplessness switch back and forth from reality and illusion.
It feels I am still on the same treadmill or have replaced it with a new one.
I have no point to make here. I feel the pressure. So I thought to write.
Beautiful that you shared your raw thoughts on this... When I start to feel that pressure, I know it's time to hit pause. I am doing this because I am passionate about it, not to cause more stress in my life. I pause. I go back to my "why" and it kicks my butt back into reality.
I shifted gears back when my daughter was born. Took it a little slower, didn't chase the better job opportunity. Instead travelled a little less, climbed the ladder a little slower. Main goal was to spend time with the family.
But over the years I got back into it, just to be hit with the realisation that all that "Security" could be gone in an instant. Now wondering what my life would look like if I had followed thru with my first Youtube project in 2015 and my podcast ideas in 2016 / 2022... 🤷♂️🤦♂️
I wonder about a lot of decisions in my past as well, but (fortunately or unfortunately) I can’t go back and change them now…so, my new focus is choosing things I’m excited about so I don’t have the regret again in 10 years or so.
I really am a big believer in enjoying the process, how did you enjoy doing things like engaging on X when you first started growing your account?
I loved it. But at some point, it became like most other things done consistently — work. And since the platform has changed so much, I no longer enjoy it.
Thanks for sharing! I’ve been thinking about shifting my focus to substack because it’s becoming more enjoyable for me in terms of the content on here
I'm regularly checking in with myself about whether I'm present and enjoying the process because I didn't start this creative pursuit to get stressed. And the end-of-day reflection "how do I feel about today?" helps.
If I've connected with others, stayed true to who I am, created something, and moved my body in nature, I'm usually good. The "high achieving" takes in all of me, not just work.
Love this pivot you've made, Justin. Looking forward to the inner circle.
Well said, Jeanette! Sounds "holistically healthy" to me. I totally love that!
Well said Justin. I killed my 6 figure business in December because I wasn’t enjoying the monthly grind “starting from zero” anymore. I found my “Ikigai” and doubled down on it. I work less now, I enjoy it more and the monthly numbers are climbing back as a result.
Hell yeah, Christian. That's sort of what I'm in the process of doing, ya know?
Getting off the treadmill is something most everybody can relate to. So we often change course and take a different path - that may or may not work out any differently. To me what Unsubscribe represents is an opportunity to drill down deeper into who we truly are as individuals and reinvent ourselves in ways that requires we continue to remind ourselves it is actually possible. One sign of confirmation in this direction is that more and more of our daily actions become aligned in ways that eliminate separate silos in our world that often leave us conflicted, and no different than we were in the past. There's something amazing about building a life in which all of our activities draft off of each other in collective fulfillment. It is possible to eagerly look forward to Monday morning, or simply treat any day or time as such – its not a place to get to but a place to come from. Thanks for reminding us of this Justin - this can be the spark that reminds us all who we really are, before a job title assigns it to us....
With toddler girls, this hit home. It’s the whole reason I’m here actually.
Is it possible to grow a business that’s makes a lot of money to create the time and financial freedom…without giving up all your time and losing that very freedom?
I’m about to make my first employee hire for my business (operations), as I can’t grow the business anymore without them. Revenue (and income for my family) has been dropping steadily for a year because I’ve been burned out trying to do it all. But I’m terrified that bringing in an employee could mean trapping me even more. 😱 I want to make more art, travel more, and be with my family. So I’m trying to hire so we can scale so I can work less. Is that even possible?
I would say that it's definitely possible, Daniel. My only suggestion would be to double-check that the bottleneck preventing your business growth and projected scalability is directly attributable to you being alone and unable to do more of the work. Because if your inability to scale is directly tied to that bottleneck, then yes, you can "Buy Back Your Time" by offloading some of the work. Just be very selective in your hiring process and try to do your best to hire someone who you truly believe will (a) be better than you at completing the offloaded work and (b) is highly likely to bring in more revenue than he/she costs.
That is great advice Justin. Appreciate that. My wife asked me something similar this morning—“will there be enough for them to do outside of launch periods to drive revenue?”. And I will need to hone in on this further. I definitely think so. But I need more clarity here. Thanks!
If you're a one-man-show right now, then I'm certain you have plenty to offload.
Perhaps spending a week or two mapping everything out top-to-bottom while quantifying the amount of time each activity takes you and then qualifying the level of complexity will help you better decide on who to hire, which skillsets they'll need, whether they need to be full-time/part-time/freelance consultant/etc.
That’s why is so important to define your ‚enough’ and stick with that definition.
I caught myself thinking that if someone told me when I was 18yrs old that I would be where I am now, I would be thrilled. Funny how the more we have the more we want. Perspective changes depending where we are…..
Demands are growing and growing and once we touch the luxury we don’t want to let it go but we just want more. And invisible money addiction keeps us jumping on that treadmill everyday….
It’s not easy to stop, but I feel like I have made a huge progress over the last couple of year with my minders!