There's a dangerous loop that keeps people stuck in mediocrity. I call it the ownership gap. And it's what separates the successful from the unsuccessful.
I think this is the message most people struggle with the most. It’s human nature to point the finger at someone else or something else, but you’re just delaying your growth.
My life my responsibility... Thanks for reminding because at times in the view of struggling phase, we tend to blame others but that doesn't really help us move forward.
The most successful software teams embody this. I can think of two main ways we do this.
1. Agile retrospectives. As a team, regularly look back on how things went over the past time interval (e.g. 2 weeks). Rank the items where we think we can improve the most. Create and track concrete actions to take to move the needle on the top few.
2. Blameless post-mortems. Whenever there is an incident (outage, privacy issue), we create a detailed timeline and root cause analysis. Each thing that "went wrong" must be tied to at least one AI to prevent, mitigate, or detect the thing in the future, and we open a bug to track it.
These approaches adopt an ownership mentality but crucially do so in a way where it's the "team" that is taking ownership, pushing all the negative emotions around responsibility for failure onto an abstract concept ("the team failed", "the process failed us"). This allows the analysis on what went wrong (or isn't going as well as it could) to be extremely honest, resulting in the best improvements over time.
That I fully agree with. I know it’s something I struggle with sometimes so I certainly have empathy. I can have empathy and still recognize that it’s true.
Love the black & white thinking. Also the accusation that you’re not successful BECAUSE you don’t take ownership. Ignoring that external factors do play a role.
Your boss does play favorites.
The economy can cripple your business.
Discrimination, a rigged system, inaccessible resources can affect your ability to succeed.
Hell, your genes limit what you’re able to do sometimes.
So I don’t buy this crap.
Being a problem solver is important. But this idea of the individual is solely responsible for everything is stupid.
The modern world is messy and chaotic and always will be. Shit happens to you all the time that is out of your control, despite what your “mindset” is.
Maybe you need a shift in perspective and try to understand those who you claim play the victim.
Still love your work. Thanks for getting me worked up :).
All of what you said is true. I openly agree with you. The world is 100% unfair. Some people have fewer resources. Some people fall out of favor with their boss due to petty work politics. Sometimes, privileged people are given things they don’t deserve. Sometimes…I could go on forever in ways that the world isn’t fair.
The big question is: Now what? What do you do knowing the world isn’t fair? There are only a few options (IMO):
1. Be an activist: Work to change the unfairness for the entire world. I love that. I think it’s admirable! Even when I don't agree or believe it's misguided, I admire that people are taking action for something they believe in.
2. Do something about it: Work to change the unfairness for yourself. To say “I don't think this situation is fair” or "I don't like what's happening," and then choose to do something about it. Even if it’s hard, or you feel like it may not work. You do it anyway because you want to be in control of your life.
3. Complain or point fingers: This is where you choose to do nothing, masked as something. Complain. Cry online. Yell at your friends and family. Or your colleagues. Gossip at work. Whatever. That’s the victim's mindset. The world isn’t fair, and you’re not doing anything to change it. You're not going to help change it for the world or yourself.
Most people pick #3 because it feels like they're doing something meaningful, but they aren't.
I think the difference is, even with all of the reasons you list, an ownership mindset pushes on anyway. They do not allow those to be reasons to stop them from achieving their goals.
If you have ever owned a business (I did for 22 years), there are ample times to blame X, Y, or Z. You learn quickly that that doesn't serve you. You play the hand dealt to you, and you figure out how to succeed. You don't have time to feel sorry for yourself. You just get after it.
It's not the individual is solely responsible for everything, it's that an owner decides that they'll be solely responsible for their world, regardless who is to blame.
When you decide to take ownership of your life/outcome, that's when the magic happens, IMO.
I've heard this concept before but never thought about how the gap is widening. I see it every day. People are so intimidated and scared of the fast pace of change that they fall into inaction while pointing their fingers at everything else that determines their circumstance.
Thanks, that’s a great piece, and I’d like to add a bit of nuance that came to mind while reading it.
The idea of ownership or agency, the ability to act and take responsibility, has become a bit of a buzzword lately, especially on Twitter. You see it everywhere: "The most important trait is agency. If you want success, have agency." (hey Jocko 👋) And while that’s not wrong, it risks oversimplifying something quite complex.
The ability to take ownership isn’t just a mindset you can flip on like a switch. It often depends on a mix of factors people didn’t choose: personality traits with a strong genetic component (like conscientiousness or neuroticism), early role models, mentors, life experiences, and social conditioning. Of course the ownership gap widens for that very reason
Yes, changing your mindset is powerful. Growth is real. But I think we should also extend empathy to those who don’t find it so easy to "just take ownership." Not everyone starts with the same internal tools. I had to learn to show compassion for those still building theirs.
It’s written with empathy in mind. I can assure you that because I’m writing it to myself as a reminder. At the same time, once we accept that which we cannot control, there is only left what we can. Those things might be difficult but the only other choice is to suggest we don’t have one. And we do.
This is a good one! As a dad raising three young(ish) children (15, 11, and 9), I try my best to frequently plant seeds with them related to "Ownership", "Accountability", "A Growth Mindset", "Turning Thought into Action", etc. This is immensely helpful and positively reinforcing.
The "victim mindset" is such a tragic thing. And so avoidable. But unless one chooses to take ownership like you said, it truly does become this self-reinforcing loop that makes it easy to blame others, view failure as a loss instead of an opportunity to learn, stymies growth, and the list of adverse effects goes on...
Once again, great post! Very thought-provoking. (Even better, I've got a good "blame loop" and "ownership gap" visual in my head. I'm going to sketch it out and share it with the kiddos.)
Ownership really is the real game changer. It is very easy to fall into the blame game, but once you shift out of that, it really does help to create some more authentic momentum.
One of the most core human instincts is the need to be "right" - whatever this means for our bigger picture. And more so than ever in the world we live in today.
"See? I told you the game was rigged." - is a prime example of this - even if it means conceding what could be a huge step forward for us - I know I've done this
We can cite examples of this in every direction - your point is well received here Justin
From this example you've illustrated, now we can drill down to the root causes of "why" we do this, beyond any specific examples of "what" happened - and become aware of what influences our ability to f*ck up perfectly good opportunities if we get stuck in our heads, and then wake up
Thanks for writing this one - love the dialogue here....
Leaning into an ownership mindset brought me my highest sales month this month. And biggest client wins. It wasn’t luck. It was taking ownership, experimenting with a different approach, and not giving up.
It's the self-awareness for me, the lack of it, the lack of self reflection is what is keeping most stuck in mediocrity. I might add the need to talk about yourself without proper listening to others is a huge gap as well!
100%
A mantra I learned in the Infantry…
“I’m responsible for everything that happens or fails to happen.”
It’s as liberating as it is focusing.
I think this is the message most people struggle with the most. It’s human nature to point the finger at someone else or something else, but you’re just delaying your growth.
Hi
I love this concept - for me it brings to mind to the idea of “what you’re not changing, you’re choosing.”
Growth requires active participation, and the choice to take charge of what you can influence.
I’ve found that the 2 biggest mindsets successful people have are a learning mindset and an ownership mindset.
I think that sounds about right...The ownership one is helpful in supporting the learning one as well.
My life my responsibility... Thanks for reminding because at times in the view of struggling phase, we tend to blame others but that doesn't really help us move forward.
You’re welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read it.
The most successful software teams embody this. I can think of two main ways we do this.
1. Agile retrospectives. As a team, regularly look back on how things went over the past time interval (e.g. 2 weeks). Rank the items where we think we can improve the most. Create and track concrete actions to take to move the needle on the top few.
2. Blameless post-mortems. Whenever there is an incident (outage, privacy issue), we create a detailed timeline and root cause analysis. Each thing that "went wrong" must be tied to at least one AI to prevent, mitigate, or detect the thing in the future, and we open a bug to track it.
These approaches adopt an ownership mentality but crucially do so in a way where it's the "team" that is taking ownership, pushing all the negative emotions around responsibility for failure onto an abstract concept ("the team failed", "the process failed us"). This allows the analysis on what went wrong (or isn't going as well as it could) to be extremely honest, resulting in the best improvements over time.
Very true. I see this daily.
I increasingly believe that agency itself exists on a bell curve, like most human traits.
That I fully agree with. I know it’s something I struggle with sometimes so I certainly have empathy. I can have empathy and still recognize that it’s true.
Love the black & white thinking. Also the accusation that you’re not successful BECAUSE you don’t take ownership. Ignoring that external factors do play a role.
Your boss does play favorites.
The economy can cripple your business.
Discrimination, a rigged system, inaccessible resources can affect your ability to succeed.
Hell, your genes limit what you’re able to do sometimes.
So I don’t buy this crap.
Being a problem solver is important. But this idea of the individual is solely responsible for everything is stupid.
The modern world is messy and chaotic and always will be. Shit happens to you all the time that is out of your control, despite what your “mindset” is.
Maybe you need a shift in perspective and try to understand those who you claim play the victim.
Still love your work. Thanks for getting me worked up :).
All of what you said is true. I openly agree with you. The world is 100% unfair. Some people have fewer resources. Some people fall out of favor with their boss due to petty work politics. Sometimes, privileged people are given things they don’t deserve. Sometimes…I could go on forever in ways that the world isn’t fair.
The big question is: Now what? What do you do knowing the world isn’t fair? There are only a few options (IMO):
1. Be an activist: Work to change the unfairness for the entire world. I love that. I think it’s admirable! Even when I don't agree or believe it's misguided, I admire that people are taking action for something they believe in.
2. Do something about it: Work to change the unfairness for yourself. To say “I don't think this situation is fair” or "I don't like what's happening," and then choose to do something about it. Even if it’s hard, or you feel like it may not work. You do it anyway because you want to be in control of your life.
3. Complain or point fingers: This is where you choose to do nothing, masked as something. Complain. Cry online. Yell at your friends and family. Or your colleagues. Gossip at work. Whatever. That’s the victim's mindset. The world isn’t fair, and you’re not doing anything to change it. You're not going to help change it for the world or yourself.
Most people pick #3 because it feels like they're doing something meaningful, but they aren't.
I think the difference is, even with all of the reasons you list, an ownership mindset pushes on anyway. They do not allow those to be reasons to stop them from achieving their goals.
If you have ever owned a business (I did for 22 years), there are ample times to blame X, Y, or Z. You learn quickly that that doesn't serve you. You play the hand dealt to you, and you figure out how to succeed. You don't have time to feel sorry for yourself. You just get after it.
It's not the individual is solely responsible for everything, it's that an owner decides that they'll be solely responsible for their world, regardless who is to blame.
When you decide to take ownership of your life/outcome, that's when the magic happens, IMO.
I've heard this concept before but never thought about how the gap is widening. I see it every day. People are so intimidated and scared of the fast pace of change that they fall into inaction while pointing their fingers at everything else that determines their circumstance.
I really needed this reminder today. Thanks Justin.
Thanks, that’s a great piece, and I’d like to add a bit of nuance that came to mind while reading it.
The idea of ownership or agency, the ability to act and take responsibility, has become a bit of a buzzword lately, especially on Twitter. You see it everywhere: "The most important trait is agency. If you want success, have agency." (hey Jocko 👋) And while that’s not wrong, it risks oversimplifying something quite complex.
The ability to take ownership isn’t just a mindset you can flip on like a switch. It often depends on a mix of factors people didn’t choose: personality traits with a strong genetic component (like conscientiousness or neuroticism), early role models, mentors, life experiences, and social conditioning. Of course the ownership gap widens for that very reason
Yes, changing your mindset is powerful. Growth is real. But I think we should also extend empathy to those who don’t find it so easy to "just take ownership." Not everyone starts with the same internal tools. I had to learn to show compassion for those still building theirs.
It’s written with empathy in mind. I can assure you that because I’m writing it to myself as a reminder. At the same time, once we accept that which we cannot control, there is only left what we can. Those things might be difficult but the only other choice is to suggest we don’t have one. And we do.
This is a good one! As a dad raising three young(ish) children (15, 11, and 9), I try my best to frequently plant seeds with them related to "Ownership", "Accountability", "A Growth Mindset", "Turning Thought into Action", etc. This is immensely helpful and positively reinforcing.
The "victim mindset" is such a tragic thing. And so avoidable. But unless one chooses to take ownership like you said, it truly does become this self-reinforcing loop that makes it easy to blame others, view failure as a loss instead of an opportunity to learn, stymies growth, and the list of adverse effects goes on...
Once again, great post! Very thought-provoking. (Even better, I've got a good "blame loop" and "ownership gap" visual in my head. I'm going to sketch it out and share it with the kiddos.)
Thank you as always!
Avoidable yet so difficult to avoid. I know I fall into it sometimes and need a solid reminder. Good on ya for teaching it to your children.
Ownership really is the real game changer. It is very easy to fall into the blame game, but once you shift out of that, it really does help to create some more authentic momentum.
One of the most core human instincts is the need to be "right" - whatever this means for our bigger picture. And more so than ever in the world we live in today.
"See? I told you the game was rigged." - is a prime example of this - even if it means conceding what could be a huge step forward for us - I know I've done this
We can cite examples of this in every direction - your point is well received here Justin
From this example you've illustrated, now we can drill down to the root causes of "why" we do this, beyond any specific examples of "what" happened - and become aware of what influences our ability to f*ck up perfectly good opportunities if we get stuck in our heads, and then wake up
Thanks for writing this one - love the dialogue here....
I’ve done it too. I’m writing it at the part of myself that I don’t like. Glad it resonated.
Leaning into an ownership mindset brought me my highest sales month this month. And biggest client wins. It wasn’t luck. It was taking ownership, experimenting with a different approach, and not giving up.
Congrats, April!
Thank you :)
Victim mindset stalls, owner mindset builds.
It's the self-awareness for me, the lack of it, the lack of self reflection is what is keeping most stuck in mediocrity. I might add the need to talk about yourself without proper listening to others is a huge gap as well!