Modern luxury is subtraction.
Welcome to issue #053 of Unsubscribe. Each week, I send one essay to help you step off the default path and build a life you love, supported by work you enjoy.
Back in 2024, I wrote something that struck a nerve on X.
This is my sixth most popular post of all time, and I started thinking about why it resonates so deeply.
I think it’s because most of us feel it. We’re constantly being pulled in so many directions, with so much noise, and it’s 24/7/365. And a lot of us are struggling to unglue from the distractions. To feel calm again.
For a long time, I thought the way to get back to this feeling was through addition. If I could make enough money, invest in the right stocks, and set up the right business systems, then I’d finally feel calm again. I’d have space to think. I’d arrive somewhere that felt peaceful.
But it turns out that’s not true. The more I added, the further the goalposts moved. The further those moved, the more I had to make. The more I made, the more I spent, and around and around the circle goes.
At some point, without really planning it, I started moving in the opposite direction.
Jennifer and I don’t buy much stuff anymore.
I get new clothes maybe once a year, if that. I own mostly black sweatshirts at this point, which makes getting dressed every day really easy. We drive a 2022 Subaru, which we bought in cash a while back, because we knew it would last, and we didn’t want to think about cars, leases, and interest rates. We don’t have many subscriptions piling up. And we don’t upgrade our phones or laptops until they actually stop working.
None of this is because we can’t afford things. It’s because we started noticing what stuff actually costs. The attention. Not the price. Everything you own takes up a little bit of space in your brain. Every subscription you start is a small decision you have to manage each month. Every new device costs thousands of dollars that you have to earn to cover the expense.
Most of this stuff accumulates quietly, and then one day you realize that almost none of it has made your life better.
So we stopped adding and started removing. And the less we own, the lighter life feels.
Now, I ask a different question when I’m trying to decide whether to spend money on something.
Instead of “Can I afford this?” I ask, “Does this add time, energy, or life?”
Most purchases don’t. A new phone doesn’t give me any time back. A newer car wouldn’t give me more energy or life. Most subscriptions don’t do much for my business or give me more time back.
But some purchases do. A housekeeper means we’re not spending weekends cleaning. Healthy food means we actually feel good instead of just full. Travel that’s designed for rest instead of cramming in a million sights means we come back feeling fulfilled instead of exhausted.
The price tag isn’t the point. The question is whether it frees up space or takes it.
I have a friend named Steve who’s figured this out better than nearly anyone I know.
He runs a coaching practice, and he’s good enough at what he does that he could easily take on more clients, build out more programs, hire people, and scale the whole thing up. The playbook is obvious and available to him, and he could likely double or triple his revenue.
But he doesn’t. He keeps his practice small on purpose. He spends his time in Upstate New York, biking, playing with his kids, and staying mostly offline. When I talk to him, he’s calm in a way that most people I know aren’t. He’s certainly not checked out or detached. He’s content. Like he’s not running toward something or away from something. He’s just there. And happy.
Here’s the part of that tweet I find the most interesting:
“…in a world designed to prevent all four.”
Remember that the new default is that the world is total and utter chaos.
Your phone is built to interrupt you. Social media is built to addict you. The news exists to make you worried. Even the way most businesses work is designed to add complexity, not remove it.
Everything around you is pulling in the direction of more noise, more urgency, and more stuff competing for your attention.
Which means calm isn’t something you find. It’s something you’ve got to fight for. And the fight isn’t about adding the right things.
It’s about removing the wrong ones.
I’m curious what you’ve removed that made your life noticeably better. Or what you know you should remove but haven’t been able to let go of yet.
Reply and tell me. I read every response.
I appreciate your time.
What is something you’ve removed that made your life noticeably better? Or what’s something you know you should remove but haven’t been able to let go of yet?
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Wonderful message and reminder. Thank you, Justin. I'm removing people-pleasing from emptying my energy tank and replacing it with improving my guitar playing and writing good songs.
yeahhhh, i 100% agree. less is always, always, always more. i wish more people understood this.
this is why my life's work is specifically focused on deep cellular cleansing + detox.
most people try to add supplements, biohacks, and peptides to achieve optimal health and waste a shit ton of money doing so, but TRUE health + vitality actually comes from removing what's holding you down (waste, blockages, toxins, parasites, mold, heavy metals). it’s much more simple than people think.
your body is a self-healing, self-regenerating, self-cleansing organism under the right conditions. you just need to give it those conditions. :)
andddd, the physical body is the first doorway. when you clear the physical body, you elevate your mental, emotional, spiritual, and energetic frequency. i work with so many high performers, CEOs, founders, entrepreneurs, and so on who experience quantum leaps in so many more areas of life because of this work.
i do regular attention audits (pretty much weekly) to look at any apps, people, places, activities, things, relationships, mindsets, behaviors, etc. that are draining me of my energy and ruthlessly eliminating them. that requires intentionality + focus.
i know which steve you're talking about, ps!